Chapter 38
Chapter 38 Falling leaves(6)
“Hold out for just a bit longer, Ausrey. The White crow knights will come soon.”
Sina cut an approaching fog creature. Her left arm was numb from swinging too much.
She could taste bitterness from the vomit travelling up her throat but Sina couldn’t stop now. Again and again, the approaching footsteps didn’t stop.
Sina raised her sword.
“I can hear swords clashing. Perhaps there are knights that are still resisting.”
Thuk. Her sword was stuck. She’d swung at a creature and killed, but it was stuck between its bones.
Panicking, Sina tried to pull it out, but it wasn’t that easy. One of Juan’s fog minions swung a dagger at her.
What blocked the dagger from hitting home was Sina’s right arm. A large cut was made on her lifeless right arm.
With the dagger still rooted in her arm, Sina slammed into the bastard that stabbed her, both falling to the ground. Using her sword, she stabbed it’s throat repeatedly.
“We are the Blue rose knights. We will never lose to monsters like you.”
While she was getting up on her feet, she made a painful gasp. Sina’s body arched back, and her head drooped down as she fell back down on her butt.
She couldn’t see properly. However, she’d felt where an arrow had struck on her body.
Roaring in anger, she ran at the shooter and stabbed her sword at him. Then she made her way towards Ausrey, half crawling.
“This is the moment, now is the time for our home to flourish.”
Sina finally got around to realise that an arrow had embedded into her left eye.
Luckily for her, the arrow didn’t penetrate deep into her head, instead it was stopped at her outer skull.
Sina attempted to pull it out, but after feeling an immeasurable pain from the slightest of pulls, she instead resorted to snapping the arrow for now.
She could feel the steel arrowhead inside her skull.
Sina threw away the snapped arrow shaft and let out a long roar.
“Promise me that we’ll survive and return together! Ausrey!”
No answer came in return.
Sina’s vision blurred.
She was unsure if she was seeing things right. At times, everything was red and sometimes grey.
She cut down at any silhouette that moved, and if it was out of reach, she raised her right hand to block it.
By now, it was hard to say her right arm was an arm but a well grounded piece of meat.
Her ability to hold her sword up with her left hand wasn’t because she still had strength left but because blood had dried up in between, making the sword stick to her palm.
“………….”
Sina no longer spoke to Ausrey. No, her dried lips wouldn’t part anyways.
She couldn’t see anything that was moved. But Sina instinctively swung her sword at anything that resembled a fog.
She didn’t know since when, but as her vision failed her, every other sense in her body came to her need.
Fog movement, the sensation of wind, blood floating inside the fog, she could feel all of this as if it was her skin.
Sina couldn’t tell if she was still alive or not.
She wasn’t sure if she was already dead. Maybe she was fighting in hell having died already. She wasn’t even sure if it was currently night or day.
It seemed about a hundred years had already passed since she’d last heard Ausrey’s voice.
Despite this, Sina couldn’t let go of her sword.
Losing all sensation left in her hands, it felt like someone was holding her sword for her.
This ‘someone’ swung her sword for her, slew her enemies and kept getting back up.
Not a bad feeling.
Shivers ran through Sina’s body, not knowing who it was.
She was lost in her thoughts. She remembered the words she received when she was dismissed from the capital.
‘Your faith in the emperor is lacking.’
In the midst of a distant memory, she was still a knight.
‘With your belief, you cannot hope to become a knight.’
Right now, she was a knight more than ever.
Another fog silhouette was cut.
Light intruded from beyond the fog that she sliced in half.
While stumbling, Sina looked up. She still couldn’t see anything in front of her.
However, she could feel something bright like the sun in front of her. Something warm was watching her.
Her instinct told her.
That this light was what had helped her through her journey, till now.
Sina’s lips parted.
Blood dripped from her dried coarse lips. Sina fell to her knees in front of the light.
“Your highness.”
Sina tried to drop the sword in her hand, but her strained muscles wouldn’t listen to her. She put both hands to the ground while still grasping her sword and bowed her head.
“I give you my greetings lord.”
The emperor didn’t say anything.
This didn’t disappoint Sina. The emperor was always silent.
He only watched and guided people in the right direction.
The emperor’s volition would in the end be expressed through knights like her.
“I’ve tried my best to follow your will but I lacked the strength.”
Sina did not believe that any of this was real.
She’d already died, and had gone over to his side. And she was receiving the final judgement.This is what she believed.
Sina was rather calm and carefree about the situation.
Dying on the battlefield with her knights was what she wanted.
It would be cruel for her to have survived alone.
“I wouldn’t be praised as one of your foremost believers.”
Sina calmly stated the truth.
Priest, High priest, Professor, Inquisitor, Paladin, by those who were deemed most close to the emperor, Sina had never been once praised by them.
On the contrary, they’d repeatedly questioned Sina’s faith and her ways.
Sina was nervous.
“However, I take pride in that I haven’t committed a single act that would shame your name in my entire life.”
Sina wasn’t the type to commit such acts.
She knew her family wanted her to enter the imperial guard, but instead her unshameful acts took her on the path from a promising talent to an exiled average knight.
“I await your judgment.”
Sina didn’t know whether the emperor cared about that or not. But she didn’t dwell on it.
Her actions weren’t taken in hope that she would one day be awarded rather than punished. She’d acted with dignity. That’s what she believed in.
If the emperor stayed silent, Sina would accept that was her punishment..
The emperor did not keep silent.
“I…..”
Surprised at hearing his voice suddenly, Sina raised her head.
Hearing a reply from the emperor was unprecedented.
Even clerics of the church, Bishops, and Popes only received the will of the emperor through movement of stars or a saint’s prophecy.
But right now in front of her, the emperor was speaking out to her. In a voice how Sina had always imagined it to be.
“…..have never shown my will to anyone.”
Sina became even more shocked by his words.
If that was so, was the church’s words and acts all a lie?
“I’ve never told anyone to serve me.”
“I’ve never told anyone to distort my teaching.”
“I’ve never told anyone to set fire to a village.”
“I’ve never told anyone to praise me with the blood of the weak.”
“That is not my will.”
Sina felt if she’d been struck by thunder.
“Your highness, I…..”
“So in fact, you did not serve an imposter.”
As if he knew what Sina was about to say, the emperor gave her the answer she wanted.
“I simply wanted you all to live with your own will. You have done well till now. You are a good knight. You are bright and beautiful just the way you are. You should look to continue being yourself.”
Sina’s eyes glistened.
All throughout her life, she’d been disapproved of by those she had admired. Those that she’d loved and cared for had left her side one by one.
But now, the apex of humanity, the emperor had affirmed her ways.
“What other words of support could I give you….”
The emperor muttered in a regretful tone. Sina felt an odd sensation.
“Darkness is coming. Night so dark, you’d think nights till now were twilights. No matter how dark the night is, I would wish you’d stay bright. Even in the deepest darkness, I hope you’d be a light for those in need.”
“For the emperor, I’ll become the firewood for your lighthouse.”
“Not for me.”
The emperor whispered.
“For those lost, in the darkness.”
*****
Tadak, Sina woke to the sound of bristling firewood.
A dark sky could be seen.
So dark that the light that had surrounded her till now, seemed like a lie.
Upon feeling the heat of the fire on her right cheek, she realised she wasn’t dead but still alive.
In an attempt to get up, she screamed at the agony that hit all throughout her body.
“You don’t wake up quietly do you.”
There were no parts of her body that weren’t screaming. Every nerve cell was acting wild.
And then, something came into her mouth.
A finger.
Blood was dripping out from a noticeable cut on the finger. Realising she was drinking blood, Sina tried to spit it out, but found no strength to move.
“Just drink it. It will help.”
There wasn’t anything she could do.
Oddly, the more she drank, the blood appeared to relieve the pain inside her body.
After a long while, Sina senses came back to her. The finger was no longer in her mouth.
Sina turned her head. There was a figure crouching in the darkness. Sina remembered the silhouette.
“Juan.”
“It’s been two days. I was going to leave you behind if you didn’t wake by today.”
Juan was sitting far away from her and the fire. Sina tried to get up in every way possible but in the end gave up. Even putting a little bit of strength caused her muscles to convulse, never mind the pain that followed.
Sina looked for her sword.
She saw that her sword and equipment were placed on the foot of a tree. Only then she noticed that she was naked.
“To fix you up, I had no choice.”
Sina glared at Juan but didn’t reproach him. Like he said, it seemed injuries on her body had been either scorched or stitched by him.
While it was a rough job, the treatment itself was done splendidly.
“Didn’t you say, you were going to kill me.”
“I said I wouldn’t kill you with my own hands. Who would have known that you’d survive.”
“…….The other knights? Anyone else alive?”
“No. Just you.”
Although Sina had already expected this, Juan’s reply made her eyes teary.
“Should’ve left me to die as well. If you didn’t treat me, I would’ve died on my own.”
From her memory, she had more than three or four fatal wounds on her body. If he’d left her alone, she would have died from excessive bleeding. Reunited with her knights.
Juan did not reply.
“Was it to let me taste despair? Or to make me feel helpless?”
“Would be distasteful to have fixed you for those reasons.”
“Then answer me.”
Juan did not easily open his mouth. However he knew Sina would not easily let this slide.
“I’m looking to use you as a messenger.”
“Messenger?”
“That’s right. The fact the White crow knights did not come here with you, shows the central church isn’t yet fully aware of the severity of the situation. If they’d come, the Blue rose knights wouldn’t have been defeated quite so miserably. At the very least, there would have been some resistance.”
While listening, Sina tried to move her body again and fainted.
When she’d come back to her senses, Juan had come and placed her away from the fire.
“It feels as if I’m looking after a child next to a cliff.”
“They were all brave knights. Don’t ridicule them.”
“To an extent yes, as they died on the battlefield. I admit there are those worth far less than them. Anyways, I kept you alive because I needed someone to deliver my message to the capital.”
“If you think I’ll be a messenger for a heretic, you’re wrong.”
“If you’ll just listen to what I have to speak that’s enough. Those pigs in the capital will look into your head anyways…. Tell them this.”
Sina couldn’t deny this. A few people in the capital could use drugs and magic to make this happen.
Juan lowered himself to Sina’s level. She could see his deep black eyes that seemed to have an endless depth.
“The emperor has returned.”
“……….What?”
“Tell them, the emperor has returned. Those who dared to use the emperor’s title and distort my volition, will face consequences that death alone cannot settle. To the traitors, they’ll not meet the benevolent emperor from the past, but an emperor full of anger, a need for revenge.”
With a sinister smile, Juan whispered.
Tell them, the emperor wielding a sword has returned.”
Sina’s eyes didn’t leave Juan. She continued her silence.
An overwhelming force was over her.
Simply meeting his eyes felt as if she was being firmly crushed in his hands.
Sina didn’t ask who the emperor was. She’d already heard from Juan many times.
Not once, she accepted his words but right now Juan’s words were shaking her confidence.
The emperor she met in her dreams said he had never given his will to anyone.
So this begged the question in relation to those in the capital who declared that they were acting under the emperor’s will.
“You are not the emperor.”
Sina could do nothing but to again deny it. Juan laughed back.
“The emperor does not hold feelings of hatred. He’s someone that knows the value of love and forgiveness.”
“You know nothing. The emperor has always brought upon despair.”
“A lie. He gave courage to those helpless.”
“It’s not a lie. The emperor has always passed despair onto his enemies.”
“You’re distorting the emperor’s deeper meaning!”
“I don’t know what more I can say. I’m trying to give interpretations of my words.”
Juan laughed dumbfoundedly. A grumbling Sina glared at him and spat out a reply.
“…….There are a lot of people in the empire still waiting for the emperor’s return.”
“Yeah. I’ve seen it.”
“You’re definitely not the emperor they’re hoping and waiting for. Of course, you aren’t the real emperor anyways and no one will admit this, but if you continue to proclaim yourself that title…..I cannot let you go, for you will erase all their hope they’d held for so long.”
She scowled at him with her single eye that was left, but the glare was even stronger.
“I have no choice but to kill you.”
Juan made a satisfied grin.
“When you have the ability to do so, then I’ll meet that fate.”
Juan placed his hand on Sina’s face.
Sina tried to dodge away but her body didn’t listen.
The moment he covered her left eye, Sina felt a sharp gain.
“———!”
The pain was so great, Sina couldn’t even scream.
After a long effort, Juan successfully scalded a spot above her left eye.
During that time, Sina repeatedly fainted and awoke. Then finally, she lost her consciousness altogether.
Juan murmured while looking down at the lifeless Sina.
“If you’re the only one that survives this ordeal again, who knows what they’ll do to you. But with that mark over your eye, it will erase most doubts.”