Paranoid Love Affair 91
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 91

91
‘What are you thinking? What do you think of me? this person is… … .’
‘What the hell are you looking at and believing in me? I always made mistakes… … .’
After leaving the Cultural Center, I walked quite a few streets. However, there was nothing left in Yun-woo’s mind about where he had walked for how long, what places he had passed through.
Yoon-woo’s eyes were looking forward, but he wasn’t looking ahead.
This is because Yoon-woo’s eyes were only looking for an opportunity to naturally glance at Ji-eun, who was walking next to him throughout the walk.
“My legs hurt… … Let’s sit down and rest.”
“uh? uh… … Huh… … .”
After hearing Ji-eun’s words, I looked around and found that Yun-woo and Ji-eun were in a corner of the central plaza.
The distance from the Culture Center to the central square is not long, but seeing the author wanting to rest, and seeing that Yun-woo also feels like he has walked quite a bit, it seems that he chose the path that goes round and round.
“I sent Hyerim a message saying that she was going to be late by 30 minutes while taking a walk.”
“Yes.”
“But you know… … Among the things Saebyeol said… … What kind of love did you and Hyerim do in class? What did he do that way?”
“Ah, that… … .”
The bench located inside the central plaza, where Ji-eun and Yun-woo were sitting side by side, was hidden from people’s eyes because it was covered by a large red maple tree pole.
The large fountain in front of the main gate, as always, was silent and inoperative, and the busy people did not even look into the square.
Maybe it was because it was a busy period studying for exams, or it was the time when the last class was in progress. There were many people going to and from the main gate, but no one dared to cross the square.
So, on a campus that was always crowded with people, for this moment, I was able to be free from the gazes of Yoon Woo-do, Ji Eun-do, and passersby.
The sound of leaves hitting each other in the wind, the crickets in a hurry, the song of courtship that is already loudly crying out because they can’t wait for the moon to rise in just a few dozen minutes… … .
Those things were tickling Yun-woo and Ji-eun’s ears, but they just hovered over the surface of their ear holes.
Neither Yun-woo’s nor Ji-eun’s ears could afford to accept such a noise.
It was because their heads were full of curiosity about the other, and their hearts were filled with only each other’s existence as if overflowing.
They were only concentrating on each other.
It was in a state of longing for only the voice of the other party.
At this moment, the only meaningful vibrations in their eardrums were each other’s voices.
“It was just that Hyerim fell asleep. But I was so tired that I fell asleep… … So in my sleep, I put my head on my shoulder and hugged my arm, but the professor saw it… … .”
“Oh… … Right. Somehow it seemed like that was the case. Did the professor publicly execute it?”
“Huh… … .”
“By the way, you slept with your head on your shoulder? Sitting side by side like this?”
“right.”
“Well… … .”
Ji-eun, who heard Yun-woo’s words, raised her hips and came closer to Yun-woo, and with her flat palms, touched her head high and Yun-woo’s shoulder height.
Ji-eun, who is small in stature, was also unusually short when sitting, so her head was a span lower than when she was sitting next to Hye-rim.
“Hey, can’t I do this? If it were me, I would have slept and banged my head on the protruding part of your shoulder blade and woke up. I must have just hit the temple… … .”
“… … .”
“Ah, I’m envious of Hyerim~ I wish I was a little taller too… … .”
Ji-eun was talking in a playful tone, but Yun-woo knew that Ji-eun was really inferior to Hye-rim.
I was so drunk that I burst into tears… … .
“It’s okay to be small.”
“… … Huh?”
“It’s okay as it is now.”
“… … Do you really think so?”
“Huh.”
It was sincere.
For Yun-woo, the height of just a few centimeters meant nothing.
No matter how small Ji-eun was, it was difficult to find a bigger person in Yun-woo’s cognitive world.
“Then if… … Would it be okay for your girlfriend to be this tall in the future?”
“Height doesn’t matter.”
“How does it matter? How important is height? If you marry someone like me and have a child, the child will also be a dwarf. All height is hereditary.”
“uh… … uh? marriage?”
“You didn’t even think about it, did you?”
“right… … .”
“Look. If you think about it up to that point, do you care? This is it. I guess everyone is designed that way. It’s about finding someone who can pass down the genes that are favorable to survival to your offspring. Even if you’re not conscious of it, you have an instinct to look for someone like that. Even a person who has no intention of having children, that instinct constitutes the preference system. So people are always, healthy, nice, pretty… … Not small enough to be teased like me… … Finding someone who can leave such offspring… … .”
“I don’t think it matters.”
“really? Do you think it doesn’t matter if your kid is chubby? Are you going to be teased every day at school?”
“I can’t imagine the future of having a child, but… … If your sister marries someone and has a child, she must be like your sister, right? Then everyone will like it. You will grow up to be loved by everyone.”
“… … He always said it like this.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. i say… … .”
“No, I’m not saying I’m sorry… … I’m happy to say that thank you for saying it like that.”
When I turned my head slightly to look at Ji-eun, she was smiling with a really bright face.
Yunwoo knew.
Ji-eun doesn’t smile like that in front of Hye-rim.
He smiles with a completely different expression in front of Hyerim.
But, I only found out now.
Just because it’s different from the expression he’s making in front of Hyerim, that smile he’s looking at Yoon-woo now isn’t something he made up.
I thought it would take a lot of evidence to come to such a conclusion.
A very direct and significant reason.
But, for some reason now… … just knew
That that can’t be true… … .
The days of October were short, and the setting sun was already dyeing a corner of the sky red.
Looking at every nook and cranny of the sky, it seemed that there was a faintly visible moon in one corner.
Still, the day was bright.
At least, the glittering earrings on Ji-eun’s ears were bright enough to catch Yoon-woo’s eyes once again.
The earring that Yunwoo gave me… … .
“I am very grateful.”
“Huh?”
“Without my sister, I would not have said anything. I’d just sit still and listen to him get mad.”
“a… … Forget it now. Let’s pretend that never happened. If I keep thinking about it, it hurts my heart again.”
“By the way, what if my sister avoids me because of me?”
“What can I avoid?”
“He could be vindictive and talk bad about his sister. You just took my side… … .”
“Saebyeol wouldn’t be that kind of kid… … Well, you tell me to do whatever you want.”
“Anyway though… … Even if my relationship with my sister is disturbed because of this… … .”
“it’s okay. Because you are more important to me than that.”
“… … .”
The reasons Yun-woo was looking for were always present in Ji-eun’s words and actions.
It was scattered all over Yun-woo’s daily life to the extent that it was strangely invisible.
But aren’t all human beings like this, to some degree?
In order to break the proposition that he firmly believed in and to accept a new claim, no matter how much evidence there is, it is not enough.
Humans do not want to see or hear the theories that deny the world they believe in.
It was the figure of Ji-eun who stood in the way of Saebyeol that broke Yun-woo’s cognitive dissonance.
So, contrary to what Ji-eun said that she was worried that Yun-woo would be hurt, it remained a pretty good memory for Yun-woo.
“There you are, Yoon-woo. People talk too easily, don’t they?”
“uh… … Huh?”
“How is your relationship with Hyerim, how I received this earring from you, can you describe it in one or two words? Can you explain the short time from the first floor to the third floor in the elevator?”
“… … well.”
“Is that a long story? Complex facts and complex emotions… … I was wondering if that could be explained only by sitting down at a table and talking for a while… … .”
“right.”
“But people just want quick and clear answers. I don’t give you that much time to answer. The time the elevator goes from the 1st floor to the 3rd floor… … Just waiting for that long is enough. So is your professor. Stand up in the middle of the classroom and then, can you give me an excuse? The student already doesn’t have a microphone, so his voice wouldn’t be transmitted well. In that big classroom… … .”
It was rare for Ji-eun to have a serious conversation with such a blunt and calm tone.
Although there have been situations like this a few times, this was the first time that Yoon-woo was ready to listen to Ji-eun like that and take it with her heart.
“So… … people say Even if you ask a question, in fact, it is often not a question. Although it may seem like a subjective question, in fact, it is often objective. Just like Saebyeol. He asks, ‘Why don’t you meet me?’, but he’s already made a tentative conclusion about that. So it was objective. How many options does he have ready? one? two? People get angry when they ask a question and the other person chooses an answer out of the options.”
“… … is it.”
“What if other people had known you were living in our house? Who’s going to listen to that long story? who knows my heart who knows your heart Everyone will go mad just looking at the appearance of the situation? College students are already living together. Even if it is an open era, everyone is just saying that.”
Yun-woo didn’t know where Ji-eun’s words were headed.
But there was a clear reason for the author to say this.
This conversation had a clear purpose.
“When someone asks us why we acted like that, we have a lot to explain in order to answer that question properly. Maybe we have to explain why we grew up to be like this, from a very young age. But who will listen to it? Who would spend so much time on someone else?”
“Yes. right. by the way… … I didn’t know my sister would say something like this.”
“why?”
“There are a lot of people who like you, don’t you? There are many people who spend time with their sister. therefore… … When it comes to my sister, I think there are a lot of people who will listen to long stories… … .”
“is not it. Never.”
“Yes?”
“Why, high school friends are real friends. When I was in college, my friends didn’t last long. Are there any kids who talk like this? Especially for those who haven’t adjusted well to college life.”
“Are there such people? I’m fine… … .”
“… … Anyway, thinking that might not be all that nonsense… … When I was in college, I met too many people. It’s not like we were in high school with 30 people in a class, at most, all the time… … Assignments, conferences, clubs… … Got too much to do? And when you take turns meeting so many people, the amount of time you can spend on each person becomes too small.”
It was a story about college life, but Yun-woo didn’t know about it.
If you are a typical college student, you will meet so many people.
“You can go anywhere. People point stopwatches at each other. If you don’t like your partner within that time, turn your head right away. What makes people focus on me is… … It’s really difficult.”
Until now, Yun-woo had not thought so. Ji-eun knew it wouldn’t.
I thought I would lead a happy college life without any worries.
“Even if it’s not a place with a lot of people. You’ll just set the time limit on the stopwatch a little more generously. Even if it’s just the two of us, we don’t know when we’ll meet again, but if you make a bad impression on the spot, that impression will last until we meet again, right? Maybe that’s the chance that you’ll never see me again… … Then people have no choice but to be defensive. If you want to get along well with so many people, you shouldn’t expose yourself recklessly. Because I don’t know who doesn’t like how I look. You will only be able to say good things and do good things.”
“… … My sister is also worried about that.”
“then. summer solstice. really do a lot do it all day That’s why there’s something I envy about Hyerim.”
“Not the key?”
“Huh. I’m envious of the body, not the height… … Anyway, don’t be like that. He’s not afraid of anyone swearing at him. Uh, except in a few cases.”
“Oh, it would be her.”
“Really express yourself as you want, and only like the people you like, and the people you don’t like. That attitude could have created someone with a deeper relationship… … I’m more scared than Hyerim. scary. I’m very scared. Actually, I don’t like anyone making fun of my height, but if I get angry and gossip goes around behind my back… … So if people hate me… … .”
“… … .”
“I don’t even have parents, do I? So there’s nothing to depend on. If someone doesn’t like me and I can’t hang out with people, I’ll just spend time alone in that spacious house. In that house, that space where only old memories remain like a ghost… … .”
“Sister, if you say that, shouldn’t you get along better with Saebyeol?”
“Nope. But, that’s not what I meant.”
“then?”
“I was just trying to say that it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“… … uh?”
While we were talking, the sun had set completely and the surrounding night lights were on.
That means that it is time for Yun-woo and Ji-eun to get up from the bench.
It means that it is time to go to Hyerim’s house.
But Ji-eun did not tell him to wake up.
Rather than that, Ji-eun’s body gradually came closer to Yun-woo, and before he knew it, Ji-eun’s shoulder was completely attached to Yun-woo’s arm.
Then, I heard Ji-eun’s voice very close.
That soft voice that doesn’t chatter and fast as usual, not too small as usual, spit out in a low-pitched voice… … .
“It’s like being with other people and being with people like that. Even if we laugh and talk, in the end, I feel alone. If I take off the mask a little bit and reveal the ugly part of my heart, how many of them will remain by my side?”
“Still, there will be a lot left.”
“Is that so? I’m not sure. I’m a lot more ugly than you think. There is also a lot of greed. pretty selfish Hiding me like that, even after going to so many drinks, I was all alone in the end.”
“Your sister? Not at all… … .”
“Now do you understand?”
“What?”
“I am very similar to you. I am afraid of people like you. Living with all kinds of anxiety and fear.”
“… … .”
“At that time, you did. Don’t you remember what I said when I was drunk?”
“uh… … What did you say?”
“You said that even if someone liked you, they wouldn’t believe it? Even if they like it, they are afraid that they will leave soon. You said that you have to be someone who has a lot in common with you, and that person has to affirm yourself to believe it, right?”
“Uh, huh? I said that… … .”
If that statement is true, then the reason why the author is saying this… … .
“You’re the first time I’ve shown you so ugly. Inferiority, jealousy… … And yet you said it was okay? I have a charm too, didn’t I?”
“… … sister?”
At that moment, Ji-eun’s hand reached out to Yun-woo’s neck.
The hand grabbed Yun-woo’s collar and began to pull it in one direction with utmost force.
Towards Ji-eun’s face… … .
It was only for a few seconds that Yun-woo was confused about what this was and what his intention was.
It was because he felt a moist, soft texture on Yoon-woo’s cheeks, which was also very close to his lips.
Ji-eun immediately fell from Yun-woo’s body, but the feel of Ji-eun’s nose that touched and fell for a moment, the breath left behind by her lips, continued to hover around Yun-woo’s cheek, dyeing his face red.
“Can you believe this? that i loved you… … .”
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 91

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