Paranoid Love Affair 106
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 106

106
‘This is never because of you, I’m not hurt.’
‘It’s just a trace of the stupid me struggling to waste time.’
‘Then don’t worry about it, Yoon-woo. Forget everything.’
Just when she was convinced that she was out of sight of Yun-woo, Hye-rim gently stroked the scar on the wrist of her left arm over her clothes.
In case Ji-eun or Yun-woo catches the eye, Hye-rim has not even rolled her sleeves in front of others for nearly two weeks.
The problem is that in Yun-woo’s room that day, Hye-rim’s hand holding the cutter knife had too much power.
So, even after the blood stopped, if I applied a little force, blood came out of the wound again, so I couldn’t exercise for a while.
Contrary to what Yoon-woo said, Hye-rim did not have a habit of self-harm.
If I had such a habit, would I have been able to control my strength a little better?
Then, until today came, wouldn’t we have been able to exercise together with Yoon-woo in the morning?
However, if it were, it would have been more difficult to do this in front of Yun-woo.
Today, Hyerim had to be a witch.
had to be the villain.
A villain for one person only… … It wasn’t too difficult for Hyerim to think of a script for what such a villain would say and do.
It was because Hyerim knew that Yoon-woo was always suspicious of other people that he was a villain with a dark inside.
You just have to imitate it.
In the eyes of such a villain, wouldn’t it seem that someone’s sincere kindness or trust is absurd?
He probably wouldn’t even think that the true mind exists in reality.
A witch who has given her heart to the devil will not be impressed by the sound of the heart of a loved one.
So I will say that. A relationship without a contract, without any legal or institutional protection, is all just an illusion… … .
After setting the witch as such a character, words that Hyerim’s father would say came pouring out of Hyerim’s mouth.
Those words were disgusting even to Hyerim herself, who was speaking.
It was definitely poison.
A terrible poison that hurts both Yun-woo’s heart and Hye-rim’s heart… … .
Because of that, Hyerim’s long-cherished affectionate feelings and hopes for a pleasant future to spend with Yunwoo and Jieun, who may have come to her, were all crumbling into a mess and rapidly corroding.
‘Happy birthday, Yoon-woo.’
‘It would have been great if I could have said this myself… … .’
Leaving behind Yun-woo, who was standing still with a bewildered face, Hye-rim moved forward with a hurried pace.
There should be no hesitation in that step.
You shouldn’t even look back and look at Yun-woo’s face.
Such a thing was not allowed for Hyerim now.
Because Hyerim and Hyeeun have to leave Yunwoo’s world like this… … .
How much was Yoon-woo hurt by Hyerim’s words?
Will I ever think of death again?
Before meeting the rabbit, isn’t it going to return to the empty shell of Yun-woo?
However, Yoon-woo was never going to choose death on his own, Hye-rim was sure.
Because Yun-woo never wanted to die.
Yun-woo wants to live more than anyone else.
However, after admitting that fact, the fierce effort he must make is terrifying.
Even when approaching someone to get to know him, and even the slightest scratch he will wear, Yoon-woo just keeps pretending he doesn’t know because he only thinks it’s too scary.
Yun-woo does not fight fiercely with life or death.
I always take a step back and try to stay somewhere in the middle between life and death.
Death was an excuse for Yoon-woo not to become fierce in life, and life was an excuse for Yun-woo not to immerse himself in death.
It was not Hyerim that Yun-woo had to meet.
Anyone trying to rescue someone from a swamp must be someone standing outside the swamp, with their feet on solid ground.
However, to bring Yun-woo into a fierce life, Hye-rim’s life was also immersed in a deep swamp.
Maybe in a deeper water than Yunwoo… … .
Because the rabbit was gloomy and helpless Hyerim, even after spending such a long time together, she couldn’t get into Yunwoo’s heart.
Now again, everything is back to the beginning.
Yoon-woo may have come to trust no one again.
You may be thinking of death again.
However, Yoon-woo is now in a completely different situation from Yoon-woo when he met the rabbit in an open chat room.
It’s because Ji-eun is by Yoon-woo’s side.
Even if he is sick and desperate right now, Yun-woo’s heart will eventually turn to Ji-eun to turn his eyes away from death.
Then Ji-eun and Yoon-woo will actively rush to solve the doubts that Yun-woo has for Ji-eun, and sooner or later, Yun-woo’s heart will rise to the surface and finally step into the realm of life.
‘I’m sorry, Yoon-woo. I hope the times I spent with you will soon be forgotten in your head.’
‘Your life, this is where it really starts. It will surely be a happy life. Ji-eun will lead you like that.’
‘Ji-eun unnie is the right person for a rabbit. A liar like me is totally different from a fake… … .’
‘I should have resigned sooner… … . I shouldn’t have been there from the beginning… … .’
When I returned home, Hyerim’s room was just too large to live alone.
The stillness left in this empty space was the only truth left to the liar Hyerim.
Until yesterday, Yun-woo and Ji-eun were in this room.
The voices of Ji-eun and Yun-woo filled the room.
Of course, Yun-woo’s voice didn’t play a big role, but… … .
Now, Hyerim is the only one in this room.
It will continue to be so.
Until the day Hyerim dies, she will have to face this dark and gloomy silence.
‘now… … What am I doing?’
Neither Ji-eun nor Yun-woo come to Hye-rim’s room anymore.
I told Ji-eun early in the morning not to contact me in the future.
Hyerim shouldn’t show her face anymore.
You also need to sever ties with Ji-eun.
This is because Ji-eun should not be suspicious of Yoon-woo while contacting him for nothing.
Overseas travel is a lie.
I have no intention of going, and in fact, I don’t even have a passport.
It was all lies.
In the end, Hyerim ended up spitting out a lot of lies to Yunwoo until the end and disappeared.
It seems like a lie to even say that Hyerim has been looking into Yoonwoo’s life for the past time.
Now it’s all empty.
Hyerim’s room and Hyerim’s life. I couldn’t find any meaning in anything anymore.
There was nothing I wanted to do, and there was no one I wanted to meet.
Today, I haven’t eaten anything, and instead of being hungry, my stomach hurts unbearably.
‘First… … Are you going to sleep?’
‘Sleep, wake up and sleep again… … Then, one day, when Yun-woo and Ji-eun unnie completely forget me… … .’
‘Then… … .’
I see now… … There is no need to hide the medicine bag in a drawer.
* * *
‘The author’s older sister… … will you welcome me Are you really waiting for me to come back?’
Yoon-woo stared blankly at the key ring for a while, then slowly got up from his seat.
Of course, with just that little key ring, the memories contained there, and the warm words that Ji Eun gave, Yun-woo could not completely regain his will to live.
But it was like a seed.
A handful of hope Yun-woo has, faith in Ji-eun, who is crouching in the corner of Yun-woo’s heart… … .
Will it be able to grow into a big tree someday and support Yoon-Woo’s world that is slanting once again?
Is Ji-eun’s house, or, next to Ji-eun, a place where Yun-woo can return?
If I open the door to Ji-eun’s house now, will Ji-eun tell Yun-woo to come?
Shall I tell Yunwoo happy birthday again?
Does the house really have a cake for Yun-woo?
For the first time in my life, will I ever see someone light a candle for Yun-woo?
My legs were too heavy.
The feeling of stepping on the ground didn’t come true, and Yun-woo felt as if he was struggling in the air.
Still, the place that each difficult step was heading towards was not Yun-woo’s empty living room, but Ji-eun’s house.
I wanted to see if there was any reason for Yun-woo to live.
But, standing in front of the door of Ji-eun’s house, who had just arrived, Yun-woo stood still without pressing the door lock password.
because I didn’t have one.
Is Yun-woo really the person who can enter the house’s password at will?
perhaps… … The person named Ji-eun is also part of a huge conspiracy plotted by Hye-rim, so maybe the password has been changed?
If the password for this house is different from the one Yunwoo knows… … In the end, if Yun-woo was even kicked out of this house… … He was so afraid of the feeling of despair he would experience when he confirmed that, and Yoon-woo couldn’t even stretch out his fingers.
However, even though Yun-woo was just standing so far away, the door opened by itself.
“Why aren’t you coming in?”
“… … how did you know?”
“no wonder… … I thought you might be outside the door. Because I kept waiting.”
With those words as food, the seeds of hope in Yun-woo’s heart began to sprout.
Every word of Ji-eun was desperate.
There was no time to exchange formal greetings.
So Yun-woo asked Ji-eun all the time.
“My sister… … . do you like me?”
“Huh.”
It was an answer without a single hesitation.
But that voice didn’t feel shy like before.
Ji-eun’s voice is calm, melancholy, and somehow sad… … .
Yun-woo couldn’t figure out what kind of emotion was melted in that voice.
However, the tone felt in that voice was different from usual and only deepened his anxiety.
How on earth do you know that someone’s words are true?
How many times did Hye-eun tell you that she likes Yun-woo?
How long did Yun-woo depend on her?
But it was all lies.
Even if you kiss, hug, or have a friendly conversation for nearly a year, that doesn’t prove that someone’s heart is true.
You can never know someone’s words, actions, or the true intentions inside them.
No matter what Ji-eun says, that alone will not make Yun-woo completely trust Ji-eun.
But now, what Yun-woo wanted was perfect trust that had no gaps like her nails.
It’s something no one else can give you.
It always is.
The final piece that completes faith is something that cannot be received from others.
That much, you have to make it yourself and put it in.
But the last piece, sometimes large enough to occupy most of the base of the puzzle, is sometimes so small that it is invisible to the naked eye.
It is not difficult to make because it is a large piece, and it is not easy to make because it is a small piece.
The last piece that constitutes the belief in Ji-eun, in order to make it, Yun-woo had to use most of the fuel needed for the operation of a human named Yun-woo.
But now I can’t afford to spend fuel there.
It was because he had already run out of fuel because he had been crying all alone all the way to here, picking out Hyerim’s words that were stuck in his heart and organizing them one by one.
So Yoon-woo said nothing more.
I just stood there and looked at Ji-eun.
Looking at the empty space where the last piece will fit, I feel sorry for the unfinished trust… … .
And Ji-eun also stood still with a dark expression, looking up at Yun-woo’s face.
Ji-eun, too, knew that no matter what he said, he could not fill the space that the remaining piece would fit in now.
After standing facing each other for such a long time, Yun-woo opened his mouth first.
“Sister, did you know? Hyerim… … .”
“Hyerim… … what?”
“Hyerim… … Meanwhile with me… … .”
“Have you been in contact with you every night under the name of Hye-eun?”
“… … Did you know?”
“Not long ago.”
“I didn’t know… … Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because Hyerim said he was talking directly.”
Fortunately, Ji-eun does not appear to have been involved in Hye-rim’s conspiracy.
However, Yun-woo was afraid.
Does the author know the reality of Hyerim?
Is Hyerim still best friend to Ji-eun?
Maybe Hyerim is more precious to Ji-eun than Yun-woo?
Then Yoon-woo… … .
“My sister… … Do you know that he cheated on me?”
“Know.”
“… … What will your sister do now?”
“What?”
“With Hyerim… … I wonder how you’ll be… … .”
The question of whether to choose Yun-woo or Hye-rim, the intention is clear and childish, came out of Yun-woo’s mouth again.
He knew how humble he was when he said those words, but he knew that he was playing foolishly with Ji-eun, but he couldn’t help but do it.
Because it seemed that I could not let go of my heart without checking it.
“… … I have decided not to contact you.”
“Huh?”
“I just want you and me to live well. You don’t want to contact me.”
However, Yun-woo did not let go of his heart.
This is because, from Ji-eun’s melancholy tone, I got the impression that Ji-eun regrets breaking up with Hye-rim.
“My sister… … Do you want to keep in touch with Hyerim?”
And Ji-eun immediately recognized the intention of Yun-woo’s question.
“Yoonwoo, you… … Do you want me to hate Hyerim?”
“… … .”
“I… … I wish you didn’t… … .”
“sorry… … .”
Contrary to what Yun-woo thought, Ji-eun was not depressed simply because she regretted breaking up with Hye-rim.
It was just one of the many pieces that make up this tragic story.
I thought it would end up like this.
Hyerim said so.
But Ji-eun’s prediction was wrong, and she wanted Yun-woo and Hye-rim to stand together in front of this house’s door.
I prayed all day that Yoon-woo could somehow trust Hye-rim, that Yoon-woo’s heart was stronger than before, that he could find the pieces of truth mixed in the countless lies that would come out of Hye-rim’s mouth.
With the cake celebrating Yun-woo’s birthday in the middle, I hoped that the three of us could sit around it.
But in the end, no miracle happened.
Yun-woo was Yun-woo as Ji-eun knew.
“I’m sorry, I just… … .”
In the end, Yun-woo was an infinitely weak person.
Even the expectation that Ji-eun’s heart, waiting for Yun-woo at home, would inspire Yun-woo was arrogant.
“Can I stay in this house? … Can I still stay with my sister? … . I’m curious about that… … .”
Yun-woo’s trust in others is like a sand castle that crumbles and crumbles when small currents pass through it a few times, even if it is built up solidly and hard over a long period of time.
Even if Yoon-woo’s trust is regained with a few words again, you don’t know when that too will collapse.
If Yun-woo itself does not change, the same thing will happen over and over again.
“If all you want is to live in this house… … That’s uncertain. My father is the legal owner of this house. There doesn’t seem to be any affection for this house, but I’m not sure what I’m going to do in the end.”
Ji-eun likes Yun-woo.
But at the same time, he hated Yun-woo.
Yun-woo, who does not understand Hye-rim’s heart, Yun-woo who does not believe in Ji-eun, who gives up everything and collapses even with a small shock… … .
“But even if such a problem arises… … If all you want is to keep living with me, that’s a question I don’t even need to ask again. I will always be by your side If you don’t believe me, would you like me to write a marriage certificate?”
“uh… … uh? To that extent… … .”
“To that extent… … . Now you say so, but if you don’t go that far, can you really trust me? Can you trust anyone else?”
“… … .”
“Whether you write a contract or a memorandum, even if you bring dozens of legal experts and put all kinds of binding on your relationship with me, you won’t believe me.”
“No, I… … If it’s your sister… … .”
“If you believe me, why didn’t you come right in and just stand there? Why did you ask if I could live with you?”
“just… … it was hard Wait, I’m confused… … .”
“Then, are you okay now?”
“… … Huh.”
It didn’t look ok.
There were still traces of dried tears on Yun-woo’s face, and his voice had no power.
However, Yun-woo was not as endlessly frustrated as before.
He didn’t even try to destroy himself.
It was a big improvement for Yun-woo just by not looking for medicine.
It’s a very slight step forward, but if Yun-woo has changed even a little from before, wouldn’t there still be a chance?
Can we hope to see it again?
“Yoon-woo.”
“Huh?”
“You haven’t even opened your birthday present yet? Why don’t you try it now?”
Ji-eun, who asked that question, was still dreaming of a birthday party with the three of them.
The table where Yunwoo, Jieun, and Hyerim sit together… … .
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 106

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