Paranoid Love Affair 102
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 102

102
Could this person be Yunwoo?
Far from resolving such a question, Hyerim could not even find out even the least personal information about the person who used the nickname ‘Tofu Sundubu’ until the first semester after entering the university.
Only then could I know that the other party was also a freshman at university.
an empty person.
A person without content.
That was the impression Hyerim had on him.
To say that there is no content does not mean that there is nothing in the head. The desires and emotions that make people act… … .
It was as if those things didn’t exist.
In terms of a mini car, the body, wheels, and things like that were all attached to it, so it looked fine, but it was like there was no motor.
A shell that never moves on its own unless someone pushes or pulls it… … .
How can a person be like this?
Hyerim also goes to a psychiatrist and takes antidepressants, but not to this extent.
He started calling Hyerim a rabbit, and Hyerim abbreviated him as tofu, but the distance between their hearts did not narrow at all.
Tofu didn’t ask anything about the rabbit.
Not only that, he didn’t even wonder about anything else in the world.
Feeling frustrated, Hyerim was to the point of missing the people who came in and out of this chat room before changing her cell phone.
They used to tell stories about life on their own terms, even without Hyerim asking anything. … .
To find out about the other person, you would have to have a conversation, but Tofu didn’t seem to have the slightest desire to continue the conversation.
If Hyerim had stayed still, he probably wouldn’t have said anything from the moment he received his diploma to the moment he promised to die.
There was no decent topic.
His mind was full of thoughts of death, and there seemed to be no room for anything else.
Is the thought that he might be Yun-woo is just Hye-rim’s vain wish?
Is it because he’s so lonely, doesn’t want to die, or is it a cognitive bias created by Hyerim’s mind?
Do you want to think of him as Yun-woo in any way?
But, coincidentally, Tofu is the same age as Yunwoo.
If he hadn’t exuded an atmosphere similar to Yun-woo when he was young, Hye-rim would have quietly made a suicide plan together.
Hyerim probably didn’t care why he wanted to die, why he was depressed, or why he became such an empty shell.
‘What is the least painful and quickest? If you smoke a briquette and swallow a sleeping pill, can you die while you sleep? I have some sleeping pills… … .’
‘I heard that guns are the fastest and most convenient, but unfortunately I can’t find them in Korea.’
At the very least, would we have been talking about something like that?
When I first opened the chat room, when I met someone who could die with me, I wanted to talk about depressing stories all day long.
How cursed this world is, how rubbish life is.
Talking about how meaningless it is to live… … .
However, Hyerim couldn’t do that because she thought that her opponent would be Yunwoo.
If your opponent is Yunwoo… … . With that rare possibility in her heart, Hyerim was unbearably heartbroken again.
Besides, as time went on, I didn’t think that was a small possibility.
He was getting closer and closer to certainty.
Could the other person’s voice, that soft voice that resonates as low as the melody of a cello, be someone other than Yoon Woo?
If the opponent is really Yun-woo… … It was a tragedy.
Hyerim lived her own life.
It was Hyerim’s own will that ran out of the house, pushed the approaching people with hateful glances, and decided how she would end her life.
However, Yoon-woo, a 4th grade elementary school student that Hye-rim remembers, never did anything she wanted.
He was a person who could not speak a single voice despite being criticized unfairly.
If Yun-woo’s life continued to be like that after that, and then finally decided to die, can it really be said that Yun-woo’s death was his own will?
Chimpanzees are strong.
Satisfying their own desires is the most important beast in the world, and they do not hesitate to injure others for their own sake.
They scream recklessly, threaten others recklessly, and shamelessly wear human clothing.
In contrast, humans are weak.
If there is a human who is left alone in a cage of filthy chimpanzees, he will soon be trampled on.
Everything you have will be taken away and you will be pushed into a corner.
Such a life is not worthy of Yun-woo.
You shouldn’t die like this.
Yun-woo is a human being who deserves to be loved, and his life should be full of light.
He should live a happy life.
Even if Hyerim died alone, even if Hyerim’s father laughed at the lonely body… … .
So Hyerim paid attention to the conversation with Tofu.
I tried to tell the story with a bright attitude as much as possible.
It was because he thought he should not transfer his depression and sorrow to the other person.
I wanted to tell a fun story as much as possible… … .
Hyerim had limits.
No pleasant topic of conversation came to mind.
No matter how much I look back on the day, there was not a single thing I enjoyed.
A senior who insists on buying me food, gossiping about Hyerim when I refuse it, motives constantly recommending a meeting… … Meetings, blind date schedules written like timetables in classmates’ notebooks… … .
After all, nothing changed when I entered college.
Everywhere I went, people were the same.
At best, there were only a few people who knew how to pretend to be more modest and older.
Hyerim was sad that she couldn’t have a pleasant conversation with someone who might be Yunwoo.
It was painful that I couldn’t do it myself.
What would have happened if it were the author?
Ji-eun leads a long and interesting story even with a nonsensical topic.
For example, what kind of bread is the best at Bordeaux Baguette, which ice cream is the best at Reskin Barbins?
A bigger problem than the topic of conversation was the voice when talking to the other party.
In fact, even if you don’t have anything to talk about in chat, you can take a bright attitude.
This is because you only need to buy a bunch of emoticons and paste them at the end of each sentence.
But the voice can’t do that.
If a person who had been chatting as if he was excited by chatting until recently, when he answered the phone, spoke in a gloomy voice with a heavy, subdued voice, he would surely think it strange.
How to get a bright voice?
Among the people Hyerim met, the person who spoke with the most excited voice was a drunken Ji-eun.
Hyerim’s voice is quite similar to Jieun’s, so it was reasonable to think of it as imitating a drunken Jieun’s tone.
But, no matter how similar their voices are, what do they do?
If you are in a depressing mood, making all sorts of assumptions about your partner, and remembering painful memories with Yun-woo from the past, if you have a conversation, even if you forcefully put on a bright tee, it will only be awkward.
I will never be able to continue that conversation.
In the end, Hyerim decided to only talk on the phone with Yunwoo at night.
At night it seemed possible.
Some of the pills Hyerim took before bed made her feel like she was drunk.
Normally, it was very inconvenient, but now the side effects of the drug were what Hyerim needed more than anything else.
If he gets drunk and talks about what comes out of his mouth, even if he seems a bit crazy, he will definitely have a brighter tone than usual.
I thought so… … .
Still, there were many days when I felt bad.
On those days, knowing that I shouldn’t do that, I took the medicine with beer.
In the phone call with the person named Tofu, Hyerim was putting so much effort into it.
Of course, Tofu never brought up the idea of ​​talking on the phone first.
Of course, Hyerim was the first to propose.
Even so, I wanted to hear the other person’s voice.
I listened to it over and over and wanted to check it out.
Whether the other person is really Yun-woo or not… … .
The call ended with a feeling that you would know in a little while, that you would soon reach certainty, always with that feeling.
Then, Hyerim quickly fell asleep due to the medicinal energy, and when the next morning came, it felt like everything was back to the beginning again.
Hyerim’s mood jumped over you every minute.
If you think that the other person is Yun-woo, you will be delighted with the miraculous guidance of fate.
Sometimes it was the other way around.
When I thought that the other person was Yun-woo, I cried for a long time because it was sad that the lovely person had become a human with an empty shell, and then I combined various information to force the conclusion that it was not Yun-woo, and there were times when I felt relieved.
However, tofu was also Yunwoo.
After the correction of the course registration for the second semester was completed, Hyerim was able to gain such confidence.
Because that person’s voice was definitely the voice of Tofu, and the professor called him Yun-Woo Lee.
On the one hand, it was very joyful and on the other hand, it was terribly disappointing.
Hyerim was given a chance to meet Yun-woo again, but Yun-woo was cursed.
I was living alone in a dark world.
Besides, maybe some of the darkness was created by Hyerim.
What if Yun-woo recognizes Hye-rim?
If you look at Hyerim with those eyes full of hatred and resentment again at that time, if you run around like that again… … .
However, Yoon-woo didn’t seem to show any reaction even when he saw Hye-rim’s face.
Even if we had to do a team project together, or if we sat next to each other and listened to a class, his expression did not change at all.
Seeing Yun-woo like that, Hye-rim somehow fell into a vague optimism that everything would be fine.
Does it make sense?
A person I met by chance in an open chat, that person is Yun-woo, that Yun-woo is in the same school, even attends the same class, and even sits next to me in a fixed-seat class… … .
I thought it was a miracle.
If there was a god, he thought that he was using all his strength to get Hyerim and Yunwoo to meet now.
He gave Hyerim another chance!
God must have prepared a happy ending for Yoon-woo and Hye-rim to meet.
In fact, Hyerim didn’t understand exactly why Yun-woo hated her, so she thought that there might still be elements that could make Yun-woo hate her.
So, that’s what Hyerim thought.
If Yun-Woo recognizes Hye-Rim, he will unconditionally apologize.
Let’s confess that being hated by Yun-woo is the biggest regret of his life, and that it has become a long nightmare… … .
But if Yun-woo doesn’t recognize Hye-rim, is there any need for that?
Do I have to risk this relationship by bringing back bad memories for both Yun-woo and Hye-rim?
This is your chance to start over again.
It is an opportunity to get to know Yun-woo as a completely different person.
That would certainly be a good thing for Yun-woo.
You can find out what Yun-woo’s heart is like as a rabbit at night.
Since it is a rabbit that has already come a step closer to Yun-woo’s heart, the rabbit may be able to induce Yoon-woo to open up to Hye-rim.
It seemed like the perfect story.
Hyerim’s mood was even above the clouds.
He could not control his favor towards Yun-woo.
I couldn’t control my actions.
He seemed to be manic.
He was still taking medicine, but he could be a rabbit without even having to drink alcohol.
Excitedly, everything in the world seems simple and easy.
But, as we all know, the world never works that way.
What is a miracle?
Is it a miracle that the number 6 appears 100 times in a row on a six-sided die?
Is it a miracle to cross the sea and walk on water?
That, in fact, is nothing.
The fact that the tofu he met in the suicide chat room was Yoon-woo Lee was a trivial thing to call it a miracle.
It was also not a big deal that the subjects I applied for overlapped, or that I happened to be seated next to you.
It was all trivial.
To move people’s hearts, to know someone’s sincerity, and to have someone listen to you properly, that’s a real miracle.
And miracles never happen in reality.
No matter how much Hyerim approached Yun-woo, no matter how rabbits persuaded Yun-woo every night, Yun-woo’s heart did not change at all.
However, if time continues like this, if the relationship between Rabbit, Yunwoo, and Hyerim goes on for years, wouldn’t something change?
At first I thought so… … .
The problem was the build.
Ji-eun was a mirror that revealed Hye-rim’s ugly appearance.
When I looked at myself in the mirror, I wondered how deceitful a person named Hyerim was.
Hyerim, who can’t approach Yunwoo as she is, both at night and during the day… … .
However, inside Hyerim’s true form, Hyerim, a 4th grader in elementary school, whom Yunwoo hated in the past, sits there.
Yoon-woo would never like Hye-rim like that.
I thought I should hide it.
I was afraid of being hated by Yun-woo.
If Yun-woo looked at himself with those eyes again, Hye-rim’s heart would crumble.
In the first place, as a rabbit, it was for this reason that I induced Ji-eun to come to a drinking party with Yun-woo.
Ji-eun gets along well with anyone, and because she emphasizes the good side of a person no matter where she is with anyone, I thought it would help Hye-rim’s ugly side not to be revealed to Yun-woo.
However, the closer Ji-eun got to Yun-woo, the more Hye-rim realized that she was thinking too simplistically.
A few coincidences like that were nothing.
In that sense, the same is true of Ji-eun.
Yun-woo and I share the same major and take classes together.
What’s more probable?
There’s no point in asking something like that.
Ji-eun communicates with Yun-woo more naturally than Hye-rim.
Like Hyerim, she is not hiding a bad past, nor is she hiding her heart and plotting a scheme.
Wouldn’t that be more fateful and miraculous?
Even if you approach him as he is, he will be able to have a natural conversation with Yoon-woo without being hated.
Hyerim quickly realized.
A human named Ji-eun is a person who gets along with Yoon-woo as he is, but not Hye-rim… … .
After such a thought settled in her head, Hyerim began to like herself as a rabbit more than herself, who met Yoon-woo in person during the day.
Originally, the rabbit was just a means for Hyerim to get closer to Yunwoo… … .
Paranoid Love Affair chapter 102

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