…What was going on?
Why did he look like that?
Lucian had a decisive face as if he had decided something and also an expression of fear at first glance. It wasn’t the same as usual, so I wondered what happened all of a sudden? Unlike other people, it was strange to see a person who smiled and treated me kindly now having such an expression.
Looking at him with an insensitive expression like in the past, I pondered what to say to him.
What was he going to ask for? Was there anything I could do for him? I didn’t have a lot of money, and I didn’t know anything, so what could it be? In any case, whatever he asked, I must listen. How big of a request was it that he made such a face?
As I looked at him with a blank expression, Lucian licked his lips. Every time I noticed the bright red tongue that disappeared after licking the nervous lips briefly, I also strangely felt dry in my mouth.
The atmosphere was strangely tense, so I asked without delay.
“What do you want to say?”
His eyes deepened at my prompting.
As he gazed at me with serious eyes, he slowly bent on one knee. His gaze, which was higher than me, slowly descended, and he met my eyes from the same height as me. That alone made me feel strange. However, the moment he held out the small box, I was enveloped in a strange feeling.
…Huh?
I saw this scene a lot in dramas? No, it also appeared frequently in webtoons. I watched romances enough to memorize it, so I knew what kind of scene this was.
Obviously this…
When the male lead proposed to the female lead, he always got down on his knees…
…So, why was Lucian kneeling in front of me? Repeatedly blinking my eyes, I tried to figure out the situation though my head didn’t work very well. While I was thinking about whether I should force myself to think because I didn’t want to get excited, Lucian opened his mouth.
As usual, a firm and heavy voice grabbed my ear at once.
“Rachel.”
It wasn’t a nickname I hadn’t heard in a long time, but my full name.
I replied, possessed.
“Yes.”
I stared tenaciously as the beautiful lips stuck together and then opened. I was pouring all my attention into his lips.
“I will no longer play family games with you.”
“…Yes?”
No longer play family games?
What did he mean… No, actually, I’d been pretending not to know. Perhaps, it was because it was so hard to believe that I had been denying it for so long.
…That he might like me.
I may have just struggled to deny that he seemed to love me as a woman and not as a sister. That was right. My bias, who was no different than my favorite idol, liked me as a woman. In addition, we were brothers and sisters in the family register, and the time we were apart was quite long.
But, really…?
It was not just a misunderstood feeling, he really loved me?
At the thought, my heart was pounding and started beating fast. Even though I thought it was an illusion, in fact, Lucian was saying with his whole body and eyes that it wasn’t an illusion.
At this point, of course, I couldn’t help but notice how fast I was reading the room.
As I waited for him to speak, my head began to spin. Soon, my head seemed to be twisted. What would happen when I suddenly return to the original world? Would Lucian be dating the real Rachel? Or, would he end up dating Cassandra?
Uhn… That would be troubling.
I couldn’t give Lucian to those kids, what should I do? I didn’t even know that my face was turning blue because I was trapped in an imagination that didn’t even happen.
Suddenly, a warm hand grabbed my wrist.
“Stop.”
“…Yes? Huh?”
Confused, I glanced at him, replying a moment later.
Lucian’s face was very contorted. The moment I saw his face looking very annoyed, I stretched out my hand without realizing it.
I raised him.
Even if he wasn’t like a child, Lucian was no different than the younger brother I had raised. I was the person who made him uncomfortable. It would be ridiculous.
As I gently wrapped his cheek, he wrapped my hand.
I moved my gaze slowly as I gazed at my hand trapped in his large hand. For me, the eyes that resembled the full moon were fixed only on me. I thought while facing the golden eyes that stared straight at me as if nothing else could be seen in them.
Why did I just find out now?
…From that moment on, his gaze was solely mine.
At that moment, I felt a tingling sensation on my back.
Mine, mine…
Had I ever had anything that was mine? I struggled so hard to grab a family that other people were naturally born having… But, I still couldn’t have it.
They said that those who were not loved by their family could not be loved by others as they needed to know love to love and give. However, I didn’t want to be swayed by words I didn’t know who said it. As there were always exceptions everywhere, I thought I could win something of my own and my love.
Yes, I certainly thought so until middle school.
Nonetheless, never once did things go the way I wanted them to. In the end, I also lost my family. I tried so hard to catch even my family, who neglected me and abused me. Still, the result was dissolution.
In fact, it was probably because I consciously erased my memories. So, even though it was mine, it didn’t feel like mine.
Even now, I tried to pull out the memories of that time, but it wasn’t as painful as it was back then. I just get a little out of breath.
“Where are you looking at?”
Lucian opened his mouth. The shrill voice didn’t sound like his, so I was able to catch my flying mind for a while.
“Yes? I’m looking at brother?”
“…Yes. You can only look at me.”
“Yes, hehe.”
I just laughed for no reason. It was because I didn’t know how to react since everything felt so unreal. Then, Lucian grabbed my hand and spoke like a whisper.
“I was trying to say… I guess I just noticed it now.”
“….”
My bias… Sister hadn’t calmed down yet, so could you please speak a little more slowly?
I was very apprehensive.
Mine, my boyfriend, my husband…
…And, my family.
It seemed that the hidden possessiveness was rising up again. Having never had my own, I used to be very attached to mine. It was something I knew right away that I was a twisted human.
Thump, thump.
Without blinking my eyes, I waited for Lucian to speak.
…Really, really? Was he really giving that to me?
Perhaps, he realized my expectations. Lucian opened his mouth. I stared at his lips as I swallowed, and my eyes widened in anticipation.
“Rachel, marry me. Now you know my heart.”
As he spoke, he held out the ring case to me. Opening the case lid with the hand that was holding my hand, he showed me the ring.
I looked into the box, possessed.
There was a ring that seemed to be a pair with the ring on his finger. Looking at the ring, which was clearly for women at first glance, it was understandable why he had chosen so diligently at the jeweler.
…He had been looking for rings for us to share from the beginning. I didn’t even know that, and I said something else.
No, he had to tell me something like this.
However, the past didn’t matter. I put my trembling hand forward. Unlike me, who was feverish and face flabby from tension, he seemed calm. Lucian took my hand with a calm face that made me think that I was the one who was really proposing.
Oh, it was just his face.
Lucian’s fingertips trembled as he grabbed my hand. At that moment, the tension went away. I was relieved because I wasn’t the only one nervous.
The coldness of the metal rose from the tip of my ring finger.
When I finally got the ring deep into my finger, I felt a strange sense of belonging. Rather than the thought of marrying him, the thought of becoming a real family with him was greater. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut at the joy of having my own real family.
Could I really have this…?
‘…You’re mine, right?’
Even if I didn’t say anything out of my mouth, I thought my eyes were enough to convey it as Lucian nodded his head happily.
“I love you, Ray.”
Lucian, who was kneeling on one knee, put both of his knees on the floor and hugged me. He grabbed my waist as tight as ever and rubbed his face against my thigh. It was funny to see his large body crumpled, and I burst out laughing a little.
Lifting his head, I hugged his shoulder and was drenched in euphoria. I flew for a moment in the wind and watched what he was doing.
I wanted to hold him.
I wanted to embrace him.
As soon as I thought he was mine, more love arose than before. As if a new waterway was added to the original waterway, and the river gushes out.
As I waited, wringing his hands, he held out a folder.
Oh my, Lucian… Would we be stamping the marriage certificate already?
As I received the documents, I shook my head in shame. At the same time, I was filled with a sense of happiness to the point that what I had been worried about until now was overshadowed that my bias had become mine.
Could we not just live here like this?
There was a letter that caught my eye at that moment when my heart was completely relaxed. Words with different characters from Hangul, but with the same meaning were stuck in my eyes, and I couldn’t get them out.
“This… Huh?”
My voice was trembling.
It wasn’t the tension that came from a fluttering heart like a while ago though the trembling that came from the shock I had already experienced. My lips, my hands, and my eyes trembled against my will.
Even among the letters that flew around without mercy, the word ‘dissolution’ strangely did not move.
When I thought my eyes were wrong, he confirmed with a fluttering voice.
“I’m finally able to annul our relationship, Ray.”
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