Chapter 2. The Chestnut-Haired Man

CHAPTER 2

The Chestnut-Haired Man

Hazuki’s tutelage was quite strict; she usually came by every other day.

“There, don’t slouch your back like that. Focus on trying not to make your body look smaller.”

Following her suggestion, Miyo immediately stretched out her back. She pulled her shoulders behind her slightly to try and puff out her chest, then practiced walking up and down the corridors of the house, being careful to maintain her posture.

Miyo was always prone to hanging her head, and she was quick to cast her eyes to the floor. When she did, her body would naturally bend with it, which gave her a gloomy and melancholic impression overall.

“A party is a place to mingle. You can’t do that if you come off as dark and dreary to whoever you talk to. First, we need to change that posture of yours. To be honest, it simply screams ‘lack of confidence.’”

“Okay.”

Miyo had asked Hazuki to arrange a full-length mirror for her, which was set up in her room.

Whenever she had a spare moment, Miyo would examine her posture in the mirror, always checking to make sure she was carrying herself as Hazuki had instructed.

“When you’re talking with someone, if the topic ever turns to something you’re totally unfamiliar with, just nod along and smile. Especially if the man you’re with loves to talk. Most of the time, they don’t really care as long as someone will listen to them… When you do this,
raise up the corners of your mouth and squint your eyes a little. A subtle grin is more than enough.”

“Like this?”

“You’re too stiff,” Hazuki instantly responded with her critique as Miyo tried following her instructions.

“Think back to when you actually smiled. If you make an unnatural expression, it could actually hurt the feelings of whoever you’re conversing with instead.”

“Okay.”

Then, during another one of their lessons…

Plates used for Western food, forks, knives, spoons, and glasses were laid out on their usual low dining table.

“We’re supposed to be treated to a light meal at this party. You’ll need a bare minimum understanding of how to use the utensils, okay?”

Immediately, Hazuki began listing off different instructions and warnings.

Miyo needed to avoid making noise when using her utensils. Additionally, she would have to ensure she didn’t flip over her glass from the weight of the drink inside it.

“Make sure not to have any alcohol that day, okay? If you’re not used to it, you’re asking for a fiasco.”

“Okay.”

Nodding along, Miyo committed everything she was told to memory.

Hazuki taught her a number of other things as well.

From simple greetings in foreign languages, to coping techniques when someone backed you into a corner, to methods of introducing yourself, and the established rules of polite conversation. Each was full of subtle nuances, and learning them all at once was quite difficult.

Miyo recorded what she learned in a notebook so she wouldn’t forget. She made sure to look over it whenever she had a spare moment, reenacting the situations over and over again in her head.

However, her time was limited. Though Yurie came to the house to help, Miyo couldn’t completely abandon her domestic tasks, either.

During the day, she studied on her own like this while she finished her chores, and once Hazuki swung by, it was time for more of her strict instruction. Reviewing what she’d learned and preparing for her next lesson typically happened at night.

With her constant nightmares persisting unabated, she inevitably got fewer and fewer hours of sleep.

“…Miyo?”

“…Oh, um, y-yes…?”

Hazuki’s voice snapped Miyo back to her senses.

Miyo and Hazuki, together with Yurie, were out in town on an early August day.

Hazuki claimed it would serve as a nice change of pace, but the true goal of the excursion was to provide Miyo with some practice outside the house to make use of what she had learned.

Miyo had intended on ruminating over her lessons while they traveled by car into town, but she had been vacantly staring off into space instead.

“Your face looks awfully pale. Are you feeling unwell?”

“Yes, oh, um, no, I mean… I’m okay.”

Miyo racked her fogged brain and managed a reply.

Her nightmares were only getting worse, and it seemed as if her diligent studying had further aggravated them.

“It’s useless to try reviewing now.”

“Nobody’s going to accept a sham noblewoman like you.”

Everyone would berate her in her dreams. Her father, her stepmother, Kaya—sometimes even Yurie, Hazuki, and Kiyoka—would turn their backs on her. No matter how hard she would deny what they’d said, cling to them, and tearfully plead with them, nothing could dissuade them.

If she was being honest, the lingering despondency she felt upon waking was not something she could easily endure. It seemed as though her entire existence was meaningless; sometimes, she even thought that everything would be easier if she were dead.

It’s not all worthless, though… I can do it. I just know it…

Every time she was rejected in her dreams, she threw herself further into her studies, believing she had to prove her nightmares wrong. Even if it all came back to torment her in her dreams later, she couldn’t give in now.

“Miyo. I’m sure it’ll sound strange coming from your teacher, but you shouldn’t work too hard, okay? Impatience isn’t going to get you anywhere. You’re making big strides, I promise. So don’t push yourself too far now, got it?”

“…I understand.”

“I’m worried, too, Miss Miyo. You haven’t been having much during your meals. You need to eat to stay healthy.”

“I’m sorry.”

Miyo hung her head at their successive chiding.

She was aware that her body was crying out in pain and that her painful nightmares were abnormal.

At the same time, however, she was acutely cognizant of the fact she wasn’t very clever. There was a mere month and a half left until the party, and she wouldn’t be able to keep up the barest of appearances without studying for all she was worth.

Summer in the imperial capital was swelteringly hot. The sunlight blazed down on the paved roadways.

The sides of the streets were lined with banners advertising ice cream pops, carbonated drinks, and other items to help keep cool. People dressed lightly in white and pastel-colored Western clothes and kimonos stood out from the crowd, while others were taking respite in the shade underneath the eaves of the buildings.

Their automobile stopped outside the urban area. Hot, stuffy air enveloped Miyo as she stepped out. It had felt nice and cool with the
window open while they’d been in the car, but it was obvious that wouldn’t be the case once they stopped. A parasol or fan would be indispensable.

When the three exited the vehicle, the chauffer declared he would be back later to pick them up and departed.

“Okay then, let’s finish things up fast and get back home quick.”

“Um, Hazuki? I’m okay, I promise…”

Miyo indirectly implied she didn’t want to let the rare opportunity go to waste, but Hazuki rejected her immediately.

“Absolutely not. You’re not fooling anybody with that pale face of yours. You’ll take a good, long rest when you get back, understand?”

“…I do.”

Miyo reluctantly nodded at the emphatic reminder.

The three of them all aimlessly walked around town together.

Aimless walking implied a degree of carelessness, but the actual circumstances were anything but. Miyo focused her full attention on each and every step she took, forcing herself to maintain a proper posture.

She also occasionally dipped her head into the shops along the streets, exchanging light greetings with the staff and asking simple questions while making sure not to take up too much of their attention. This was practice for talking with strangers while smiling.

“Well, that was very good, I’d say. Well done.”

After walking around for a while, they entered one of the shops to take a break. Miyo sighed with relief at the appraisal Hazuki made on the way inside.

“Thank you very much.”

“You were still really pushing yourself, though, weren’t you? I told you earlier, but you can’t be impatient. If you fall ill before the important party, then it’ll all be for nothing.”

Hazuki’s warning was reasonable, and in her mind, Miyo knew what she was saying was true.

Perhaps it was due to the heat, but her thoughts were more scattered and in disarray than usual. She had a hard time getting her words out.

Beads of sweat slid smoothly down her temple.

“…I don’t know. I try over and over, but I’m still not confident, and…?”

I have to say something.

As she tried to express her thoughts, it happened. For a brief and sudden instant, everything before her eyes went black.

“Miyo?”

Hazuki’s questioning voice. Though Miyo could hear it, the other woman sounded distant.

Miyo didn’t know what was happening. Her legs were shaking unsteadily, and she was losing her balance. She couldn’t stay upright.

Ah……

Readying herself for her collapse, she squeezed her eyes tight.

“Whoa there.”

Yet her slanting body collided with something hard. The voice of a young man came from behind her.

Wrapped in a refreshing scent of perfume, she realized that someone was holding up her body to keep her from falling over, and she instantly went pale.

“M-my apologies!”

Separating herself in a flurry, Miyo bowed deeply without even looking at the face of the person who had caught her fall.

Oh no. Now my absentmindedness is causing trouble for strangers, too…!

Her heart pounded. Frantically holding down her fingers to stop them from trembling, she again gave another apology.

“It’s okay, please raise your head.”

Their tone was flustered. Relieved that the person wasn’t angry at her, Miyo timidly straightened out her upper body.

Standing before her was exactly who the voice had suggested—a young man.

Though he wasn’t tall, his figure was slender and lean, and his mildly wavy chestnut hair was arranged neatly. From his white shirt covered with a vest and bound with a necktie, he appeared to be an office
worker of some kind. He had kindhearted features, and at the moment, he gave her an awkward smile.

“I’m all right. I’m simply glad you appear uninjured yourself.”

“…It was my own carelessness that made this happen. I’m truly sorry for causing you trouble.”

“Please, allow me to apologize as well.”

Hazuki stepped forward from beside Miyo and gave a beautifully constructed bow.

“Thank you very much for catching her fall. I dare not think what would have happened if you hadn’t passed by.”

“Please, please, you’re exaggerating. No one was injured anyway, so it’s quite all right really.”

Unmoved by Hazuki’s polite gratitude, the young man displayed equally courteous decorum.

“Please be careful. That was dangerous. You could end up injured next time.”

“You’re right. Thank you.”

“I’ll be on my way, then.”

The kind young man gave a light bow and walked off.

Miyo watched him depart with feelings both of gratitude and regret. Beside her, Hazuki whispered, “I wonder who that was.”

“What?”

“He wore a well-cut suit, and he seemed accustomed to the situation. I’m not familiar with him myself, but he perhaps comes from a noble family…? Wait, that’s not important right now! Miyo, are you all right? Are you hurt? Are you in pain?”

“I-I’m fine right now…”

As always, there was an intense difference between Hazuki’s elegant and refined air and the moments when she behaved like an innocent child.

Although she was much more used to it now, Miyo was overwhelmed by the abrupt and masterful switch, so she simply nodded along.

“Honestly, you scared me! This is all my fault, leading you around under the hot sun like this without taking your health into account…”

“N-not at all! I tripped because of my own carelessness, simple as that.”

“But still.”

Given the situation, it was far too difficult to believe she had simply tripped.

Miyo didn’t want to believe her condition was bad enough to result in a collapse. She was in the middle of studying with Hazuki. Resting here for a while would waste time.

She had intended to come off firm and resolute, but Hazuki’s eyes swirled with anxiety and doubt.

Silence fell over them for a moment.

“Miss Miyo, Miss Hazuki.”

Amid the hustle and bustle of the city, they heard Yurie break the quiet of the group in a dispassionate voice drained of emotion. It was unlike anything Miyo had heard before.

“There is something I would like to talk about with you both. You’ll hear me out, of course, yes?”

Her tone had the same gentleness it always did, but her ill-concealed anger was leaking through.

Instantly, Miyo and Hazuki both readied themselves for the incoming lecture.

“Pleasure to meet you, Commander Kudou. My name is Arata Tsuruki.”

Ookaito had used his connections to dispatch someone to receive Kiyoka by the Ministry of the Imperial Household.

When Kiyoka met him in the reception room, the young man introduced himself with an innocuous smile. Kiyoka gazed at him just long enough not to be considered rude and thought to himself.

Arata Tsuruki. Twenty-four years old.

His family ran a midsized trading company. Tsuruki Trading, established post-Restoration, had recovered from the brink of bankruptcy following declining business twenty years ago and was now enjoying stability. As a son of that distinguished family, this man lacked neither in his education nor other such facets of his person.

Although Kiyoka had done some more digging on the man apart from the information Ookaito had given him, he’d turned up nothing about Arata being employed with the Imperial Household. Kiyoka’s investigations ended before he could understand what connection had caused him to be dispatched here.

In the flesh, Arata’s first impression wasn’t a bad one.

The kindhearted smile on his fine features disarmed all wariness. His wavy chestnut hair matched well with his high-quality suit. It looked quite natural on him.

Despite this, something about the man was inconsistent, and it made Kiyoka suspect that something about him was distorted and crooked.

“Kiyoka Kudou. I’m the acting commander of this Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit.”

“I am aware. You are very well known in high society… They say you’re colder than the Arctic, never letting women get near you.”

Kiyoka silently narrowed his eyes at Arata’s slightly discourteous way of speaking.

It was either cheap provocation, or he was testing something. It was also possible there was no deeper implication, but Kiyoka was unable to pick up anything from the man’s guileless smile.

“Spare me the gossip. I only want to hear about the Burial Grounds.”

“Ah, yes, of course. Sorry. In that case—”

With an unrepentant apology, Arata immediately broached the main topic of their meeting.

“Someone lifted the seals on the Burial Grounds around two weeks ago in the middle of the night. Ever since, the Ministry of the Imperial Household has been rushing to identify the culprit and recover the
souls that have been released. However, only seventy percent of the loosed spirits have been recovered, and we are still unsure who may have been the culprit.”

“…Why did the Ministry of the Imperial Household suddenly decide to give us information on this? Normally, their lips would be sealed.”

“There are very few practitioners within the Ministry of the Imperial Household. As the seventy percent recovery rate makes clear, they don’t have enough people. Guess it finally dawned on the top brass of the Ministry.”

A terribly complacent explanation.

The Ministry would have been aware that they lacked the necessary personnel from the start. The souls of almost every Gift-user that failed to pass on were gathered and laid to rest within the Burial Grounds. Whether every single spirit in the Burial Grounds had escaped the Forbidden Land or not, there was still a massive number who had.

Now there was a high chance that those souls, filled with hatred, would attack populated settlements en masse and leave casualties in their wake.

“You’re saying the Ministry’s finally given up dealing with this under wraps and are appealing to us for help?”

“Sure. You’re free to interpret things that way.”

“I see,” Kiyoka replied tepidly, before hitting Arata with the question that had been bothering him.

“I get what’s going on here. We’ll cooperate. There are people’s lives at stake. That said, and pardon me for the rude inquiry, but what circumstances led you here? As far as I know, you’re not Ministry staff.”

He was certainly not involved with the military, and Kiyoka hadn’t heard anything about the Tsuruki family, or Arata himself, possessing the Gift.

It was the one thing Kiyoka couldn’t banish from his mind.

While he knew the broad strokes of Arata’s background, Kiyoka
wouldn’t be able to trust the man without first confirming what sort of position he had in all of this.

“I thought you’d ask,” Arata replied to the blunt question with an insincere grin.

“Well, I suppose only a truly helpless idiot wouldn’t be curious… I’m what you would call a negotiator. Usually I take part in negotiations for my family’s trading firm, but occasionally a friend calls on me to handle these sorts of jobs as well. My primary role is to get across what others have a hard time saying themselves.”

“If that’s the case, you still seem awfully knowledgeable about the Burial Grounds and Gift-users.”

“That’s my negotiation skills at work. Whether it’s all bluffing or knavery, it’s vital I make the other party believe I am well informed. I can’t do my job if people snub their noses at me for being ignorant.”

“I see.”

Watching Kiyoka nod, Arata grinned.

“Researching who you’ll be negotiating with is the most fundamental aspect of the trade. I know a little bit about you, too, Commander Kudou. Like how you got engaged recently, for instance. Though, of course, that tidbit’s already made the rounds, so it didn’t take much investigation.”

“I bet.”

Though he didn’t attend many parties, even Kiyoka had a good idea how widespread the news had become.

“I’m really quite envious. I’d love to find a good partner for myself and settle down, but it’s never quite so easy… Marriage is a difficult business, I’m afraid.”

For a brief moment, Arata’s gaze grew pointed.

Kiyoka felt a prickliness in the tone of what was ostensibly a harmless conversation. He felt a sort of rebellious antagonism directed his way, not to the degree of open hostility, but…the next moment, the previous innocuous smile returned to his face.

Despite this inexplicable feeling, Kiyoka sensed the difference in information between the two put him at a disadvantage, so he let the moment go by without comment.

“At any rate, since we have been officially commissioned, the Special Anti-Grotesquerie Unit will take part in dealing with this matter. Does the Minister of the Imperial Household have any specifications for recovering the lost souls?”

“A specialized magical apparatus is used to recover them. But there seems to be a lot of souls with an aggressive all-consuming grudge wandering around, so depending on the situation, you’re permitted to both battle with supernatural abilities and extinguish the specters. If anything, the Ministry and the emperor seem to prefer the latter. Leaving those irritants around will only lead to more serious incidents like this down the line… The details are outlined in this document, so please look it over. The decree is right here. It’s now an official military order, passed through Major General Ookaito.”

Arata produced several documents from the bag sitting beside him.

Since they would be facing the spirits of Gift-users, it naturally meant the ancestors of Kiyoka’s men were counted among them. The dead remaining behind in the world of the living, though, were nothing but a nuisance. It wasn’t strange for the emperor to order them all exterminated instead.

It was the living who should be held in high regard whenever possible, not the dead.

“Understood.”

Kiyoka briefly ran his eyes over the documents lined up in front of him, and he politely accepted them.

“Also, they plan to have me act as their liaison, so I’ll be peeking in every now and again. I look forward to working with you.”

“Ah, sure. Looking forward to it.”

After exchanging a few more words back and forth, Arata started to head on his way.

While the atmosphere between them had been friendly and without trouble from beginning to end, Arata’s final words as he left—

“Well then, Commander Kudou, I wish you the best of luck. Until next time.”

—had a subtle edge to Kiyoka’s ears.

When he returned to his office from the reception room, there was a tightly bound stack of papers waiting for him.

This is going to be rough.

In addition to their normal duties, with the Burial Grounds incident, he had made his unit members take shifts patrolling and gathering information every night.

Unable to foist everything on his subordinates, Kiyoka was also doing as much as he could himself, which put a large strain on him.

Moreover.

There’s the Usuba family situation, too.

It was heartbreaking watching Miyo suffer in her sleep night in and night out. The mental fatigue was beginning to take a toll on Kiyoka, too.

He wanted to do something for her. Yet he had absolutely no idea how to approach the problem. To make things worse, Miyo herself didn’t talk about it at all, leaving him at a loss.

His impatience worsened as she grew weaker by the day; he was worried she could waste away at any moment.

Kiyoka picked out one of the sheets from the bundle of documents—an interim report on an investigation into the Usuba family that he had personally commissioned a private investigator to gather.

As of now, his goal was to contact the Usubas. He wanted to know where they were.

He couldn’t check official records or ask around, so his only option was to steadily track them through their personal relationships. Consequently, he arranged for the private investigator to look into the background of Miyo’s mother, Sumi Usuba.

“I’ll need some time, mind you.”

The private investigator had said with a sour face when he accepted Kiyoka’s commission.

The
Usuba
surname was shrouded in mystery, so it was futile to look into it. With no other choice, Kiyoka asked the private investigator to first search through the directories of girls’ schools for students named
Sumi
.

There were just over twenty.

Next, the private investigator narrowed this group by factoring in the period of time when Sumi was likely being instructed. After restricting the search to schools within the imperial capital, they broadly investigated the background of any remaining Sumis. That list was now in Kiyoka’s hands.

Unfortunately, the results were less than ideal.

Her physical characteristics proved unreliable. A description of “black hair and refined features” alone fit with too many of the other girls. On top of that, there wasn’t any conclusive evidence that Sumi Usuba lived in the imperial capital in the first place, or that she had attended girls’ school, making direct identification impossible.

Suddenly, the young man Kiyoka had just met with appeared in the back of his mind.

Tsuruki? Wait a minute, I think I remember…

Realizing something, Kiyoka flipped through the list. Finding the page he was looking for, he read through it carefully.

I was right…

Was this all coincidence or purposefully orchestrated?

While he couldn’t be certain either way, it seemed important to investigate the strange connection.

A few days passed after Miyo nearly fainted in the city streets.

The heat was unbearable as ever, and her nightmares continued to rob her of her sleep.

Ever since the day in town, my study time’s been cut down a bit, too…

When they returned home that day, Yurie gave both Miyo and Hazuki a tongue-lashing about the importance of taking care of one’s body. As a result, Hazuki’s tutelage became a bit more lenient.

The nightmare-induced insomnia continued, and the accumulating fatigue furthered her body’s downward trajectory. Lately, her thoughts had become vague, and her moments of absentmindedness grew in frequency.

I can’t stay like this. It’s time to make lunch.

Miyo lightly shook her head and focused on what her hands were doing.

Yurie, Miyo, and Hazuki all sat around the dining table.

With their appetites drained by the heat, Miyo prepared a simple dish of
chazuke
.

Dividing up the leftover cold rice from breakfast among their rice bowls, she placed pulled pieces of grilled salmon on top, poured over warm bonito broth, and lightly seasoned the dish with salt and soy sauce. To finish it all off, she sprinkled on some shredded dry seaweed. Afterward, she garnished them with the pickled plums Yurie had prepared and laid the bowls out on the table.

“Gosh, this looks delicious!”

“Sorry it’s so simple.”

“I don’t mind at all. Thanks, Miyo.”

Though the meal was clearly slapdash, Hazuki’s eyes gleefully sparkled at the sight.

“You’re truly a very skilled cook, Miss Miyo.”

“You’re exaggerating…”

Miyo shook her head, unable to endure Yurie’s excessive praise. But Hazuki then echoed the maid’s words as she gazed into the contents of her bowl.

“Isn’t she? It’s incredible, really. I hate to admit it, but I can’t cook for the life of me.”

Putting their hands together, the three gave thanks for the food before picking up their spoons.

The rice was fully soaked in the broth, and when they brought it to their mouths together with the loose pieces of salmon, the gentle warmth and salty flavor seeped through their whole bodies. The sour flavor of the pickled plum added more complexity to the dish, so it was easy to tirelessly slurp down the meal, even in the hunger-sapping summer heat.

“
Mmm!
Just as delicious as I thought!”

“I’m glad it’s to your liking.”

“Miss Miyo’s talented culinary skills make me quite proud, too.”

“Y-you’re exaggerating…”

The praise was beyond excessive for simply pouring bonito broth over a bowl of rice.

Miyo had the opposite reaction and suspected there was some ulterior motive behind the praise. Though she knew Yurie and Hazuki were definitely not the type to think up nasty things like that.

Hazuki complained about herself as she deliberately took in the flavor of the
chazuke
.

“I really am awful in the kitchen. This may seem simple for you, Miyo, but I don’t think I could ever be able to do the same.”

“Really?”

“That’s right. Even at girls’ school, my cooking grades were so abysmal, they dragged down my other subjects with them.”

Yurie forced a smile as she nodded along: “Ah yes, I do remember that, now that you mention it.”

“I’d char anything I grilled, make mush out of whatever I had to boil, and turn everything I stirred together into slush. I’d end up with cuts on my fingers within minutes of picking up a knife, every time.”

Hazuki sighed. “Unbelievable, right?”

Miyo didn’t know what to say in response to Hazuki’s heights of culinary failure.

According to Hazuki, household studies commanded a large portion of the coursework, and among them, needlework was given the most priority. Students unskilled with needlework weren’t entirely unheard of, but they were very few and far between.

Conversely, in courses on cooking or other subjects, there was quite a difference in ability from student to student.

Though most of the women who attended girls’ school hailed from wealthy families, there still weren’t many households who employed their own servants. Daughters from families with servants didn’t have many opportunities to use the skills they worked so hard to learn in school, and thus didn’t retain them well. Meanwhile, daughters from families without servants would handle household tasks daily and naturally master the skills they’d learned.

In the case of the Kudous, Hazuki was a firm example of the former.

“Of course, there are always some exceptions. I had a woman from an extremely high-class family enjoy cooking for herself as a hobby.”

“Really… That’s quite something.”

“It is. Still, it’s always best if you can take care of the house. Why, I’ve regretted not being more diligent about practicing what I learned many, many times.”

“Really?”

“…Ready to hear the dirty details?”

Hazuki smiled impishly at Miyo, cocking her head.

Miyo knew she must have been referring to her failed marriage. Divorce was not a common occurrence, and Hazuki surely endured a tough time both before and after because of it.

Miyo wouldn’t have asked Hazuki about it out of mere curiosity. But since she’d now been given the opportunity to pick the brain of a marriage veteran, she did want to take advantage.

“Are you sure it’s all right if I ask?”

“Of course! I don’t mind.”

With this, their conversation unexpectedly turned to a brief recounting of Hazuki’s past.

“I was seventeen when I got married.”

For Hazuki Kudou, marriage had been an obligation, much like it was for many daughters from respectable families. And naturally, no matter whom her parents chose for her, she didn’t complain.

Hazuki had a reputation for being talkative and impulsive from a young age, but she performed extremely well in school and demonstrated skill at any art or craft she learned, and there was nothing to criticize about her looks, either. Her sole deficit, namely, that she wasn’t very good at housework—with her cooking skills being particularly catastrophic—didn’t come across as a critical deficiency.

As such, nobody in their wildest dreams could have imagined her marriage would actually fail.

“I never considered the possibility myself, either. The other servants and I boasted about serving a lady like her.”

Yurie placed a hand on her cheek, recalling days long past, prompting a chuckle from Hazuki.

“Oh, come now, Yurie. Really?”

“Yes, of course!”

Seeing Yurie strangely beaming with pride, Miyo couldn’t help smiling herself.

“Anyway, my marriage was valuable politically, and my husband’s house welcomed me with open arms at first, too.”

Miyo didn’t have much experience interacting with other people until now, so she couldn’t understand how things ended up going so poorly.

Hazuki’s former husband had been in the military and was ten years her senior.

A political marriage to strengthen relations between a family of Gift-users and military personnel. Though she couldn’t refuse the arrangement, Hazuki claimed she was fine with it either way.

“My husband wasn’t much to look at, but he was very kind. A good, honest man. I even felt lucky. I had heard so many awful stories of girls being sent to marry downright pigs.”

A look of sorrow came across Hazuki’s face as she muttered, “I was happy.”

“Did you get along well with him?”

Miyo asked without thinking, prompting Hazuki to reply.

“Absolutely. I really did like him. I don’t think he disliked me, either, exactly. We never fought with each other.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“Thank you.”

Hazuki lived together with her husband and his family at his residence. And though her married life had gone smoothly in the beginning, it slowly but surely tore at the seams.

“Well, my husband’s family started to get annoyed with the way I saw things and my inability to do any housework. They started peppering me with nitpicky complaints.”

“No…”

“I’d hear, ‘Don’t you ever shut up?’ or ‘It’s ridiculous you don’t know how to cook’—stuff like that. I never even considered things would end up like that, so I was more depressed than I’d ever been. I thought it was over for me.”

Friction between a wife and her mother-in-law was a common tale, and that was how it was with Hazuki.

Her husband’s family had great expectations for her. But even Hazuki wasn’t without her own flaws. Their expectations of a pristine, perfect wife made her flaws all the more apparent.

Hazuki gave birth to a son after two years. In the excitement over birthing an heir for her husband, and while enthusiasm was high, peace came to Hazuki as well, but as the excitement died down, everything went back to how it was before. Eventually she could no longer handle the pressure of raising a child for the first time along with the harsh treatment she received from her husband’s parents and relatives.

“Every night I would burst into tears for no reason. My husband would console me, but ultimately, the situation never changed. Then, one day, my husband said to me—”

Hazuki broke off for a moment from her dispassionate retelling, smiling slightly.

“Do you know what he said to me? ‘We’re divorcing.’ Not
maybe we should
, but
we are
. When I heard that, I was furious that he would just
decide that for himself. We snapped back and forth at each other, and by the end, it was a huge row. I got carried away, and before I knew it, our split was official.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

Miyo was surprised to hear that Hazuki was already a mother of one at such a young age, but the lightning-fast divorce drama was a shock, too.

But when Miyo considered how Hazuki talked and acted with her up until now, it all started to add up.

“I returned to my own family and cooled off a bit, but I had so many regrets. I’d abandoned my own husband and child, just because someone told me he wanted to divorce. I should have worked harder. If I’d only practiced more, I may have even learned how to cook, but…”

“…………”

“That’s why I have a lot of respect for you, Miyo. You’re not trying to overlook your own shortcomings but overcome them before you get married instead. That’s not easy.”

Unsure how to respond, Miyo cast her eyes down.

Now that she’d heard Hazuki’s story, her confidence was shrinking faster and faster. In her mind, she was filled with flaws and deficiencies far beyond any of Hazuki’s shortcomings.

“Miyo.”

“…Yes?”

Hearing her name, Miyo lifted her head. Waiting for her was a warm and gentle smile.

“I think what’s most important is to do what you can in the moment, give everything you’ve got, but then be true to your own feelings. Since you always put your whole heart into whatever you do, the former goes without saying, right? So think more about the latter part for me. What do you want to do going forward? How do you want to live?”

Both Hazuki’s optimistic expression and the words she spoke dazzled Miyo with their radiance.

If only she could be more like her. Then she might get closer to
being a woman suitable to stay at Kiyoka’s side. But she was so full of faults and shortcomings right now, she was unsure that would ever come to pass.

She had, in fact, realized something as she listened to Hazuki’s story.

I…

It was important for her to cover her weak points. That was without question. But there was something beyond her own shortcomings that Miyo still lacked.

I don’t even understand what family really is.

Miyo had never lived with a real family. What would happen if, going forward, she married Kiyoka and met his parents or relatives? What if they had a child?

What good would she be then when things hadn’t even gone smoothly with her own blood?

Before, Hazuki had told Miyo to rely on her now that they were going to be family. But—

How do I do that?

She didn’t have a clue how “families” were supposed to be.

It was only natural she had a hard time understanding concepts such as
good wife, wise mother
or
the ideal wife
. The word
family
meant little to her. Nothing more than a hollow bit of vocabulary, an out-of-reach fantasy.

She wasn’t in one of her nightmares, yet it felt as if everything before her eyes were painted over with darkness.

“Miyo?”

She forced a smile as she replied to Hazuki’s questioning glance toward her.

“I…I’ve really never thought about any of that. But there’s one thing I know for sure.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to stay here. Stay here with Kiyoka,” she consciously asserted aloud. So as not to give in to her darkened mind.

It was the one thing she absolutely wouldn’t waver on. She would do
anything to ensure she could stay. While she still may have had nothing to offer him, she didn’t want to give up.

“A fantastic response. That boy really is lucky that you care about him so much.”

Hazuki smiled with the serene face of a mature woman.

“All right, then, shall we get back to studying? This conversation ended up being very long, didn’t it?”

“Okay.”

Miyo stood up to get ready for her lesson.

The summer nights were pleasant and cool.

After washing off the day’s sweat in the bath, Miyo saw a figure on the veranda as she returned to her room. Neatly dressed in a summery
yukata
-style kimono, Kiyoka wore his long hair unbound, hanging down his back. This was unusual for him.

He really does seem exhausted.

As he vacantly stared off into the distance, he looked all out of sorts.

While he’d taken night shifts before, the evenings he spent out of the house had been growing in number as of late, and the few words he spoke to her were growing even more infrequent. With Kiyoka constantly exhausted and sighing, she couldn’t bring herself to mention her nightmares to him, so she continued to drag her feet on bringing it up.

I have to hang in there.

She certainly couldn’t impart her own pain and suffering to someone who clearly looked so worn-out.

Miyo made up her mind and, after quickly finishing up preparations in the kitchen, quietly approached Kiyoka as he gazed up at the slightly waning moon.

“May I join you?”

“Yeah.”

Feeling a bit relieved by his approval, she put down the tray she’d brought with her and sat down beside him.

Only then did Kiyoka turn to look at Miyo.

“…What’s that?”

“Um, tea, and pickled vegetables…?”

Kiyoka examined the tray before asking, prompting Miyo to tilt her head as she replied.

She began to regret the gesture to her exhausted fianc
é
and had assumed he’d thought it was uncalled for, but it appeared she was mistaken.

“…I’ll have some.”

“Oh, here.”

Relying on the light of the moon, she poured hot liquid out of the teapot into their cups. The fragrance of barley wafted around them.

This time, she had tried changing things around from the usual green tea she served.

“Barley tea?”

“That’s right. I thought it was a good opportunity to enjoy something summery. The pickled cucumbers and eggplant are very good, too, so, um… Would you give them a try?”

She heard it had been a good harvest year, so she’d gotten her hands on heaps of fresh vegetables. Between bouts of studying, Miyo had worked diligently with Yurie to pickle and preserve them.

The vegetables were just about fully done, so Miyo considered gradually adding them to their meals, starting with the next day’s breakfast.

Kiyoka brought a slice of the cucumber to his mouth, a loud crunch resounding with each bite.

“Tasty.”

“…I’m glad to hear it.”

Time slowly flowed on as they briefly sat in silence.

Kiyoka was the first to break the stillness. He seemed hesitant and looked extremely unsure of himself.

“Miyo, um, well…”

“What is it?”

“Sorry for being so busy. I’ve been swamped with work.”

“No need to apologize…”

Kiyoka was the commander of his unit, a splendid position. The role came with a lot of responsibility, which Miyo was sure made him very busy. She’d forgotten that it hadn’t been very long since she’d arrived here.

That being said, Miyo would be lying if she claimed she hadn’t been lonely. It was difficult to deal with the nightmares tormenting her every night, agonizing to feel her way through the darkness. Being on her own made her heart ache.

She squeezed her bitterly cold fingertips. A dull pain throbbed in her head.

“Keep working hard. I’m fine on my own.”

“Are you sure?”

“What?”

“Is anything bothering you? If you want to talk to me about something, I’ll listen.”

It felt as if his narrow gaze pierced right through her.

Should I speak with him now…? No, I can’t.

She managed to wrest herself away from her momentary inclination.

Miyo knew if she told him, Kiyoka would try to do something to help her. But she shouldn’t force that responsibility on someone who was already having a difficult time as it was.

All she had to do was endure the best she could. Just a little bit longer, until Kiyoka wasn’t so busy.

“I’m…fine. Nothing’s bothering me.”

“…I see.”

Suddenly, Kiyoka averted his gaze and drank from his teacup.

Miyo thought she glimpsed a flash of disappointment in his eyes. Her heart beat with a nervous thump.

“U-um, Kiyoka. Early today, um, Hazuki told me her story.”

Frightened, she quickly changed the subject.

Letting out a sigh, Kiyoka went along with the change of topic.

“Sis’s story? You don’t mean about her divorce, do you?”

“Yes, about her divorce. And, well, there was something I wanted to ask you. What sort of person is Hazuki to you, Kiyoka?”

This was a question she truly wanted to ask, not simply a way to work through the awkward change of subject.

Brother and sister connected by blood. Ultimately, Miyo had never been able to understand her half sister, Kaya. But what about Kiyoka? That had been on her mind after listening to Hazuki’s story.

“What sort of person? Hmm, I guess I never really talked to you about it.”

Kiyoka returned his cup, almost emptied of its contents, back to the tray.

As he poured more tea from the pot, the barley fragrance again wafted through the air around them.

“My sister and I have never gotten along. As you know, she’s a bit rowdy, so when I was younger, she was always fussing over and teasing me. Sometimes, she’d really get on my nerves.”

“I can sort of imagine that.”

An image of little Kiyoka and Hazuki messing around came to mind. She was positive they must have made an adorable pair.

“Liking each other, hating each other, those sorts of feelings never really entered into the equation. We were born and raised in the same environment; we understand how the other thinks, which means we’re not really reserved or considerate of one another. Our personalities are like oil and water, but I still think she’s a good person in her own way… Did that answer your question?”

“…It did.”

Jealousy. Miyo felt it from the bottom of her heart.

She was simply envious that Kiyoka could talk about someone else like this.

I really am stupid, aren’t I…?

She should’ve known that hearing his answer would only heighten her loneliness.

There was no outlet for the sudden and overwhelming sense of isolation
she felt rise up inside her. Would she continue on like this for her whole life, clinging to fleeting relationships, without ever knowing what it meant to truly have parents and siblings—a family she felt safe and at home with?

There were plenty of people without a family out there in the world. Miyo wasn’t the sole exception.

I know. Since coming here, I’ve learned what the warmth of having a place where you belong can feel like.

Before, confronted with her stepmother and Kaya in the Saimori estate, she thought it would be enough just having a place to stay at Kiyoka’s residence, first as his fianc
é
e and then eventually as his wife.

But what about now? Her avarice knew no bounds. She’d started to yearn for not only a place to belong, but his love, too. Thinking that maybe she could truly get a family of her own, regardless of any marriage offers or engagements.

“Miyo. Come a bit closer.”

“Closer? Okay.”

Just as she was told, she pushed the tray in between them aside and drew near him.

He then took hold of her wrist, peeking out from the sleeve of her
yukata
.

“K-Kiyoka?”

“…If you’re lonely, tell me you’re lonely. If you’re in pain, tell me you’re in pain.”

“Hng!”

“I won’t know unless you convey that to me.”

Miyo was at a loss for words.

She wanted to lay everything bare. Miyo felt the exact same way herself. But in the current situation, she couldn’t let herself do that.

Miyo didn’t want to place any extra stress on Kiyoka, nor did she want to trouble him or make him suffer needlessly. Worse still, she didn’t want him to think she was annoying and grow to resent her.

“L-lonely? No, I’m not at all…”

“Really? I am.”

“Huh?!”

It couldn’t be. Miyo must have misheard him.

Kiyoka’s lonely? Because he can’t see me? Impossible.

No matter how hard she denied it, a voice in the back of her mind told her she hadn’t misheard anything.

Embarrassment rapidly swelled inside her, and she couldn’t properly meet the earnest and straightforward visage her fianc
é
sent her way.

“You’re not?”

“I…”

“I?”

Oh, I give up.

Miyo succumbed to his urging.

“I’m lonely…”

At long last, she let out a slim fragment of her truest feelings. Then, returning her averted gaze back just a hairbreadth…her cheeks burned hotter than she could hope to conceal.

Leaned in far closer to her than she had imagined, Kiyoka wore a broad and beautiful smile on his face.

Her heart beat like a drum in her chest.

His smile, illuminated in the pale moonlight, was so lovely that she believed nothing else in the world could compare to its beauty.

“Then say so from the start.”

“…Sorry.”

Kiyoka gave a noisy chuckle at her instinctive apology.

“Still haven’t fix that habit of yours, have you…? Still, when did that start?”

“What?”

“You always used to say, ‘I’m very sorry,’ but now it’s just a simple ‘Sorry.’”

“Oh…!”

Miyo gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.

She said it completely on reflex. It had changed somewhere along the
way. Miyo was convinced she had never apologized so casually to him before.

“Wh-what am I going to do…?”

“No need to do anything, is there? It’s fine the way it is.”

“Doesn’t it sound childish? It feels a bit strange to say.”

“The drop in formality just means you’re getting used to living here. Nothing wrong with talking like that in the house.”

If anything, she could stand to relax even more.

As he spoke, Kiyoka pulled Miyo’s shoulder closer to him.

“You can rely on me. Don’t hold back your feelings so much. Be selfish. That way, I can be here for you, take it all in.”

Miyo wasn’t able to give a reply.

Instead, her throbbing headache asserted its presence in her consciousness.

“Is anyone home?”

The voice from the entryway echoed right as the study session with Hazuki had reached a stopping point, and they were talking about taking a short break.

“Well now, I wonder who that could be?”

“I’ll go and greet them.”

“Miss Miyo, please, allow me.”

“It’s okay. I’ll go.”

Stopping Yurie as she tried to leave the living room, Miyo hurried to the entryway.

“Please, pardon the delay…”

Opening the door, she grimaced in the dizzying heat before her eyes widened in surprise.

Standing there was an exceedingly handsome young man. He was slim, had wavy chestnut hair, and was dressed smartly in a shirt and vest.

The cordial smile he wore was one Miyo was familiar with.

“You’re…”

“Oh, what? I’m not mistaken; this is the home of Kiyoka Kudou, right?”

“I-it is.”

Surprised, Miyo wasn’t able to respond.

Did coincidences like this really happen? Miyo never expected to be reunited with the man who had saved her from falling over in town.

The young man furrowed his brows in confusion, tilting his head slightly.

“Is Commander Kudou in right now?”

“I’m sorry, he’s at work today…”

“Huh?! That’s strange; I thought he was off duty today.”

The young man groaned pensively, scratching the back of his head with his hand.

“Actually, that reminds me,” Miyo began, “he was supposed have today off, but he told me things are so busy that he would head in today anyway.”

“Ah, is that so? My apologies. I should have checked.”

The young man’s visit appeared to be related to her fianc
é
’s job. Lately, Kiyoka had been working without rest. The two had probably just missed each other.

“In that case, the commander must be at the station.”

The young man looked pitiful, drooping his shoulders in disappointment underneath the hot summer sun. Miyo called after him.

“If you’d like, you’re more than welcome to rest for a moment inside.”

After stepping into the living room, the young man downed the glass of water Miyo provided in one gulp, all while facing curious stares from Hazuki and Yurie.

“Thank you. That was a big help.”

“N-not at all. I should thank you for helping me in the city the other day.”

A single glass of water was a cheap way to express her gratitude.

At Miyo’s words, the young man suddenly adjusted his posture, as though remembering something important.

“My name is Arata Tsuruki. Nice to meet you.”

“I am Miyo Saimori.”

She timidly grasped the young man—Arata’s—outstretched hand. The palm returning her grip was warm and gentle.

But while she could have sworn she heard him remark, “It’s so thin…,” just loudly enough to be audible, she convinced herself she must have been mistaken.

“Miss Miyo, then. You must be Kudou’s famous fianc
é
e.”

“Famous…?”

“Indeed. Rumors of your engagement have been running through high society for some time now. I knew a woman was living with him.”

“Is that so…?” Miyo replied, casting her eyes down slightly.

It was an odd feeling, having people out there somewhere talking about her. She felt a bit embarrassed.

“That said…”

“Huh?”

“…I’m disappointed in Commander Kudou, to be honest.”

Arata suddenly muttered in a low voice. Unable to believe her ears, Miyo swiftly raised her head back up again.

“Wh-why do you say that?”

“I’d like to ask that myself. That’s an awfully rude thing to say.”

Hazuki, too, frowned at the remark, feeling obligated to chime in.

Arata didn’t flinch at all. Instead, he narrowed his eyes, sizing her up with his piercing gaze.

“Miss Miyo, do you understand just what sort of complexion is plastered on your face right now?”

“Well…”

Right, Arata already knew for himself. He saw her almost collapse in the street. Her condition had only grown worse since. She was certain her complexion, too, must have been as poor as he was implying.

It made sense for him to distrust her fianc
é
since they were living under the same roof.

“…It’s not Kiyoka’s fault. I’m the one to blame.”

“Miyo…”

Hazuki called her name, anxious.

Arata huffed, as if annoyed with the answer.

“I went too far. Still, I don’t believe anything I said was incorrect.”

Annoyed, he glanced around at all the corners of the room, which were filled with piles of textbooks and notebooks, before continuing.

“Why, it’s absurd to make you work so hard that you end up this sickly.”

“…………”

“Utter nonsense. Surely you have plenty of things you’re capable of. It’s not at all necessary to rush yourself to master a bunch of new skills like this.”

He spoke as if he was aware of everything there was to know about the situation.

Something snapped inside her.

“Stop, please!”

“Stop what?”

“This is something I want to be doing, and both Hazuki and Kiyoka are only going along with my request. Please don’t speak ill of them.”

That was right. All this was a product of her own selfish insistence. Everyone was simply going along with her wishes, and whether she was feeling sickly or not, this was entirely her own responsibility.

She couldn’t sit there and let Arata speak as though Miyo were being educated against her will in spite of her declining health.

Raising her voice again brought on the pain throbbing in her head.

Fortunately, Arata let out a deep sigh and backed down.

“Forgive me. I’ve soured the mood, haven’t I? How inexcusable of me to say such things while you’re courteously letting me rest in your home… I’ll take my leave.”

He quickly stood up, then hastily walked over to the entryway.

“Honestly,
what
was that man’s problem? Coming in here and saying whatever he wants… Wait, Miyo?”

As she listened to Hazuki’s complaints, Miyo also stood up.

“I’ll go and see him off.”

“What?! You don’t have to do that. It’s wasted on a man like him.”

“I can’t do that.”

With weak and wobbly steps, she followed after Arata. When she arrived in the entryway, he had just finished getting his shoes on.

“Miss Miyo?”

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to lose my temper back in the living room.”

“No need to apologize; I was the one being rude. Please, don’t worry about it.”

When Arata stood to face Miyo, he continued forward, bringing his face up close to her ear.

“I am, however, able to give you a role that only you can fulfill. If you’re interested, you can contact me whenever you want.”

Dumbstruck, Miyo was unable to respond at all before Arata departed without saying another word.

A role that only I can fulfill…?

Distracted by his puzzling words, Miyo failed to notice.

The other parting gift that had been snuck into her
yukata
sleeve.

Afterward, both Hazuki and Yurie stayed rather silent, and with Miyo finding it hard to take an interest in studying, they adjourned their tutoring session early.

Politely declining Yurie’s offer to help prepare dinner, Miyo sent her home and stood alone in the kitchen.

A role…just for me. I really don’t get it at all.

Arata’s parting words occupied Miyo’s head, along with a dull pain.

She thought for sure he meant that instead of pushing herself to master the conduct of a noblewoman, Miyo should focus on doing the housework and other such activities properly. Yet the more she thought about it, the stranger it seemed to her that he knew so much about her in the first place.

It was unnatural for someone showing up by coincidence, whom
she’d only ever run into twice, to mention giving her an invitation and offering that advice. The way he had acted, it was as though he was implying that he was actually a better fit for her than Kiyoka.

“…yo.”

Had she met him before? No, that couldn’t be possible. Given Miyo’s small number of friends and acquaintances, she would remember him if she had.

“…Miyo.”

Not matter what Arata may say to her, though, Miyo absolutely couldn’t let herself abandon her lessons. She wouldn’t accept being the only one incapable of managing things everyone else could handle.

She didn’t want to burden the people she cared about. Instead, she yearned to be someone that Kiyoka would say he was glad to have at his side. Was it so wrong to wish for that future?

“Miyo.”

“Eek!”

Hearing her name from behind, Miyo nearly jumped into the air.

When she turned around, she found her stern-faced fianc
é
leaning against the kitchen doorway.